


I saw you from afar

by Writelikethat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bottom Dean, Club owner Cas, Flirting, Fluff, Kissing, Multi, Nervous Dean, Personal Trainer Dean, Smut, Top Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 04:10:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4732379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writelikethat/pseuds/Writelikethat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this Castiel owns a club with Meg and Dean is working with his brother at a gym, as well as owning a garage. He struggles with the way he feels towards guys and then Castiel comes back into town after being away for more than ten years...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back home

**Cas**  
Cas was standing in front of the windows on the second floor. Meg was splayed on the couch with her the glaring light from her phone lighting up her face. Neither were talking. He listened to the sounds from downstairs. Music that thumbed and bass that made it vibrate though the floor. As he started walking back and forth Meg lowered her phone with a sigh.

“Clarence, stop pacing!” She told him.

Cas shot an irritated glance in her direction and kept walking.

“I know you are nervous, but it is going to be great!” She said in her low dragging voice.

“How can you tell?”

“Have you not seen the line outside?

Cas had in fact seen the line. It went from the doors of the club and all the way down the street, past the pharmacy next door and outside the kiosk further down. He halted in front of the window again. All of those people were dressed up, looking exited to have a Friday night out but Cas sighed. It was the club opening; of course it would be packed with curious people. The big question was; would they like it enough to stay, or would they continue down the street to another nightclub?

He and Meg had worked hard for two months to rebuild and fix this place. He was fairly confident it would turn out like he wanted, but he had a lot to prove.

Cas had grown up in this town before he took off after high school and went to college. He never really intended to come back, but then he met Meg, and they hit it off like they were twin souls. They shared the dream to open a club. All Meg wanted was to put as much distance between her family and herself, but for some reason she didn’t mind being close to his family. After they visited Cas' family one Christmas she always wanted to come back, and she pushed for them to buy the old Lion Club.

Cas remembered the place. It had been the number-one club when he was in high school. They all went out there on the weekends. That was the place he first got really drunk and threw up outside the doors, while his brother was laughing. That was the place he danced close with someone for the first time and that was the place he got his first kiss. Cas swallowed at the thought. Of course it’s normal to remember the first real kiss, but still, it was a drunk happening and even if Cas felt like he was in heaven for the next few weeks, he knew that Dean didn’t feel the same way. They didn’t really talk much after that. Not that they talked much before either.

Cas took a deep breath as he looked at the line of people. In five minutes the doors would open and Club W was a fact. He and Meg were the ones that got that old club up and going. It was no longer a rundown place for young high school kids, but a more sophisticated place. His parents and one of his older brothers were there to support them and he was glad. He could use it.

 

During his last year of high school was the time his life changed. He had known for a while, but that was when he decided to come out. His family didn’t mind. They were okay with his choices and Cas needed them. He still did the things he usually did, but a few guys in his class wasn’t as accepting and he started to get picked on. Not too much though, because he had three older brothers and came from a family of money, a lot of money. The night he had kissed Dean, or Dean had kissed him, was a Christmas party. Cas didn’t want to come, but Gabriel had convinced him to join them. So Cas had put on a pair of tight black jeans and a white button up shirt, deciding he would go out and enjoy himself for once.

He had gotten a few drinks and were feeling dizzy and relaxed. The combination was thrilling. He was on the dance floor with Gabriel and some of his friends. A few had commented on him and said those offensive words to him so eventually Cas had enough and decided to get out. He didn’t have to stay and hear those things said about him. He wasn’t like Michael, his oldest brother who gladly picked a fight. Cas had decided that he would live through those last month and then take off and never look back. That’s what kept him going with his head high.

On his way down the street, though, someone called his name and he looked back to see who it was. In surprise he halted to a stop when he recognized Dean behind him.

“Hey, man. I’m sorry about the way they… you know… it’s not cool to…um… call you what they do. He said and stumbled a little in his words but he seemed sincere.

Cas looked him over and as usual he had to admit to himself that this boy was too damn good looking. His green eyes alone were able to make him shiver, but then there was his broad shoulders dressed in a blue shirt under an old leather jacket. He was wearing jeans and Cas had to tear his eyes up too his face again. Dean’s smile were apologizing and Cas shrugged his shoulders.

“Don’t sweat it, man.” He said and wasabout to turn when Dean came closer. Cas took a few steps back as Dean kept coming closer. He didn't know Dean, but he knew enough that he had a reputation as a bad boy. What was he going to do?

“I don’t think it’s nice to say those things. I have a feeling you don’t like it either.”

“Of course I don’t like it, but what can I do?”

Dean tilted his head a little and didn't answer. Cas huffed a laugh.

“They are all so afraid that I’d look at them; I think that’s why they do it. Like I would look at any of them.” He said mostly to himself and rolled his eyes.

"Not even one of them?"

Dean looked him in the eyes as if he tried to decide if he wanted to leave or not, but then he leaned in and pressed his lips against Cas'. Cas just stood there and didn't dare to move. His mind were spinning. Dean. Dean Winchester, bad boy and fawned over by everyone in school were kissing him! When a soft sigh escaped from the boy in front of him, Cas melted into it and their kiss deepened.

Cas shook his head. He had spent a lot of time trying to figure out what exactly made Dean kiss him, he never dared to ask of course, and they never really talked about it. They just parted that night with shaky breaths and slightly aroused. Cas didn’t know what Dean did after high school, and he didn’t know if he was still in town. His crush had faded away with time and it was years since he last thought about it. Being back in town made it natural to think about it just a little. He turned to look at Meg who was standing by the door, waiting. She was wearing a red dress and high heeled black shoes. Her hair was pulled back in a neat knot and she wore make up that made her look like a lady.

“Let’s go down and bask in our success.” She said with a giggle.

Cas rolled his eyes. Meg had already been drinking, and so had he. They had celebrated earlier to the opening and some champagne had gone down.

Cas and Meg headed downstairs and made their way to the edge of the bar where they had a great view of almost the whole room. The bar beside them was lit with dim lights underneath. Behind the two bartenders dressed in light blue shirts and a black vest and black jeans or slacks, there were mirrors and shelves filled with rows and rows of bottles. The dance floor was lit up and placed beneath the stage where a band called “The Hiccup” was playing. And furthest back in the room was a few tables strategically placed to face the stage, and also allowed some privacy. There were also some tables near the bar as well as the barstools. As the doors opened Cas grabbed Megs hand and held her tight while he tried to calm himself.

 **Dean**  
The door flung open and a woman came inside in a blur of bright colors and red hair.

“I am not late!” She stated in a stern voice.

“I know. Relax, Charlie! Sam isn’t even here yet.” He chuckled.

“He’s not?” She said almost laughing.

“Figures.” She said before starting to rummage through her gym bag. They were seated in a cozy office- like room where Dean worked. Or they both did, this was his office though. He had come in early to get some paper work done before the first clients showed up. They both worked as personal trainers. Dean was only partly working there, as he owned a garage and car repair as well. This was all his brothers place.

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, while you sat at home, being old, we – the young ones – went out to that new club. Club W as it is called.”

“I’m not old!” Dean protested. After he turned thirty only three months back he had started to feel annoyed whenever someone brought up age as a matter. He might be thirty, but that wasn't old by a long shot.

“I’m just kidding. Anyway, your brother was all over his girlfriend, behaving more like a teenager than his twenty-six years, if you know what I mean.”  
Dean laughed at that knowing how his brother could be when he got a little too much to drink. The lightweight. 

“They are stupid like that sometimes. How was the club?”

“It was awesome! A little dark for my taste, but I bet you would have loved it. It’s a couple that owns it. A tall man or I say tall, but something like you.” She offered and Dean narrowed his eyes. But it didn’t matter; no one was really tall while they were around his gigantic brother so he let it pass.

“He was dark and really pretty, you know, dreamy in fact.” Charlie nodded as she talked. She pulled off her jacket and t-shirt and stood in front of him in just her sports bra and shorts. Dean barely noticed; it was just part of their regular morning rituals. He had told her to use the wardrobe, but she always had so much to talk about, and was always in a rush, so he gave it up. It wasn’t like any of them cared anyway.

“Since when are you hung up on a guy?”

“ I’m not hung up; I’m just saying you know that for being a guy he was really pretty. Like you.” She smiled.

“But that’s not what I wanted to say. You should have seen his partner. Gosh! She was so elegant and cold, so pretty I almost didn’t see anything else for the entire night. She was dressed like the devil in a red dress and black really high shoes. Bless her, I have no idea how she manages to walk in them!”Charlie drew in a quick breath before continuing.

“She looked like she was bored the entire night, but why would she be bored if she just cashed in a lot on that awesome club of theirs?”

Dean shrugged his shoulders. He hadn’t had a chance to go to the club last night. It was Friday and he had promised a friend to finish up a car, and it was kind of late before he was done, so instead of going out, he just grabbed a couple of beers in front of the tv. He sighed, maybe he was getting old.

Sam burst through the doors as Charlie sat down to tie her shoes.

“I’m not late!” He said in an echo of Charlie’s former statement.

“Yea, you are.” She gloated. Dean could count on one hand the times Charlie had been into work before Sam. In fact, he could count it on two fingers including the one today.

Sam just put up a bitch face as he let his bag fall to the floor and hung up his jacket. Why did everyone use his office like it was a locker room? Dean huffed a breath. Sam ruffled his hair and tied it up in a bun on top of his head, the one thing that made all of the females and a lot of the males as well send longing looks after him. It wasn’t the only reason. Sam was first of all tall and broad, so it was almost impossible not to spot him. Then he was handsome and had a body anyone would want.

“Anyone from my class come in?” Sam was leading a group for yoga every other day. Dean nodded.

“Yep, it’s almost full class this morning. On a Saturday.” He huffed.

“Well a lot of them probably needs cleansing after last night.” Charlie laughed before putting a protein-bar between her teeth, without doubt her breakfast.

“Dean, you will never guess who is back in town.”

“Okay, tell me then?” Dean didn’t want to guess. He knew a lot of people and a lot of them weren’t living in their town.

“He’s the owner of Club W. You remember Castiel?”

“Castiel? Really?” Dean felt all blood disappear from his face and his voice was strained. He had never told anyone about what happened between them. Not even his own brother that knew pretty much everything about him.

“Yup. He really has made a lot out of that place you used to go get drunk.” Sam chuckled. “He has grown up, good looking dude.”

“You are talking about the man that welcomed us on the stage? He’s from here?”

“Yes. He grew up here. Same class as Dean. They weren’t exactly friends I guess, but an old acquaintance.” Sam shook his shoulders as he changed from one t-shirt to another. Dean looked up to meet the gaze from Charlie and looked away quickly.

“Hey, my client is here. Now, get out of my office!” He said and Sam just grabbed his stuff and left, Charlie sent him a questioning look before she walked out to her spinning class.

Dean sighed. He never thought he would see him again, ever. Of course he remembered their kiss, the one that he initiated. It felt so long ago, yet it was the kiss that had started the burning fire inside of him. Dean had felt a little ashamed and a lot scared after the kiss. He wanted more, but he knew his father never would approve. His mother probably would have been okay with it eventually, but Dean never dared to act on his feelings. Instead he threw himself into a string of female hookups. Still did. When he was out of town and knew he was alone he sometimes met up with other guys. He had never taken them to his bed or gone home with them, but he liked the small touches and the kisses. Even at thirty he was scared and ashamed, and he blamed Castiel a little for making him feel the way he had.

Dean buried himself in work and focused on what his clients needed that day. He worked out with them like he used to and at lunch he packed his stuff and drove out to the garage. That kind of work was better. He got to hammer and use his muscles in a familiar way, get greasy and dirty under his nails and he didn’t have to think. Most of all, he felt like a man, and somehow that was important to him. He knew that Charlie wanted him to come to the club tonight and he knew it was really stupid to be nervous. The dude probably didn’t even remember him.

Charlie was at his apartment when he got home. While Dean was in the shower she made something to eat and when they sat down she started asking him questions.

“Why were you so weird when Sam mentioned this Castiel guy?”

“I wasn’t weird.” Dean said and took a big bite of his pizza. Charlie just sent him a look that stated she didn’t care what he said, she didn’t believe him.

“Did you know him? Did you like him or did you bully him?”

“Charlie! I wasn’t a bully!”

“Sorry, but sometimes you seem like you could have been.” She looked smug.

Dean rolled his eyes and knew it was better if he told her, otherwise she would think it was a bigger deal than it was.

“You remember a few months back when we were drunk and you dared me to tell something I never had told anyone else?”

“Yeah, which time?”

Dean laughed. She had a point, they did that a lot.

“The one time I told you I had kissed a guy and that I’d love to do it again.” He said fast and looked down at his plate. Charlie drew her breath in quickly.

“So that is the guy you are gay for?”

“I’m not gay for anyone. It was in high school and it’s no big deal, we just haven’t really talked about it or anything else ever since and it’s weird.”

“Ooh, I think you are nervous.”

“I’m not. Come on, Charlie! It’s like… I don’t know, it’s been over ten years at least and I didn’t think it was that memorable, so he probably forgot.”

Charlie tilted her head a little.

“I’m sorry Dean, but like I said he owns this club with his partner.”

“Yeah, no, he’s not together with her, like a couple. He is gay, always have been.”

“How do you know?”

Dean lifted his shoulders.

“I know.” He didn’t want to say anything else. He had talked to Castiel about it a long time ago, when they met just after graduation, and just before he left. They had a cup of coffee, and Dean told him he was afraid he had scared him with the kiss, and Castiel had laughed. Dean still remembered that laugh and how the sun had been shining in his really dark hair, and most of all he remembered the blue eyes looking directly at him, telling him that he was glad Dean had kissed him, and that no one else had done that before. And that made Dean feel pretty special.

“But they seemed really close.”

“Well, I’m close to you, but we are not together.” Dean said and Charlie seemed to think about that for a while.

“Okay, so what if he doesn’t remember. We all had kisses in high school that didn’t really matter.”

“But it did, you know. I kissed him. _I_ kissed _him_. And I was terrified that my dad would find out that I had kissed a dude, and even more so, that I liked it.”

Charlie looked at him for a while. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of liking to kiss a guy, Dean. And I don’t understand why you hide it if you really like guys.”

“I don’t. Not just guys at least. Damnit Charlie. I don’t like guys that way. I was just a confused teenager!”

“You look like one right now too, Dean.”

He got up from his chair and walked into his bedroom. He dressed in a pair of light jeans and a dark red shirt. His hair was a little longer than he used to so he put some product in it and ruffled it to stand out a bit. He couldn’t think about it. He had only been with women, and even though the thought of being with a guy always had been there at the back of his mind, he always backed down when there was an opportunity. Maybe he was scared, but no way was he going to discuss this with Charlie or anyone for that matter. He just had to forget about it and do what he always did. Back in the kitchen Charlie had cleaned up and she turned to smile at him as he came in.

“You look great. And I’m sorry Dean. I have no right to butt in on your personal space. I tend to do that.”

“Yeah, you do.” He said as he pulled on a leather jacket. “But it’s okay. I don’t want to talk about it, so, just come on, let’s go.”

“We have to pick up Sam and Jess.” She said as they walked out the door.


	2. Times have changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas meets Dean again at his club and he realizes his feelings may still be there. Dean is still living his life with women and work, but his family is concerned

**Cas**  
Cas ran down the stairs and made his way into the club. They had just opened for the second day and the place was almost packed already. Last night had been a great success. When he finally had opened it officially, with a few words and opening a bottle of champagne over the nearest guests, he could just be in the background to see if everything went smoothly. He liked that part. The bartenders had done a great job, the music had been a blast and it seemed like everyone had a great time. It was almost morning before they got to bed and Cas woke up with Meg nuzzling into his side. Cas had asked her why she was there and didn’t go home with one of the many people that must have offered, but she just shook her head.

“No way I’m going to leave you alone on our first day. We are together in this, Clarence!”

Cas hugged her before he got out of bed and into the shower. Meg was the biggest reason he did this. After they met at a party in college where he saved her from a guy that was too eager, they had been friends.

Cas had booked the band “The Hiccups” for the whole weekend to be sure and they were already playing. The bartenders were already a little sweaty and Cas smiled. He liked it when everything happened fast and smooth like this. They didn’t have everything in place just yet and Cas had to clean the toilets himself earlier that day. He absolutely hated it, but there was no way he would open the place without it being clean like it should be. Meg had almost thrown up herself when she walked out with the trash and when she came back in she stated that first thing Monday morning, they had to hire someone to clean.

Cas had dressed in dark fitted jeans and a light shirt almost same as last night. Meg came over to him dressed in a green short dress and a pair of gold shoes, a little more comfortable than the black ones from last night, but only just. She smiled bright.

“There you are. I talked to Ronny in the bar and he says that if things are going to be as crazy as last night, they are going to need help in there.”

Cas looked over at the bartenders as they both served the people standing or sitting along the bar. They worked fast and had a good rhythm, but he could see what Ronny meant. It was still a long line and even if they worked fast they couldn’t get it done fast enough, but people didn’t seem to be impatient just yet.

“Okay, what do you suggest?”

“I suggest you.” She smiled.

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I know what you are good at. And being a bartender is one of those things. It will also help you get in contact with the people that are here, get to know your visitors.”

“Yeah, like any of them can remember anything when they stumble home drunk out of their minds.” He grinned at her, but he still started to walk towards the bar. Meg just laughed at him and kept talking about some of the people that were there. Cas looked at Madison, the other bartender and asked how she was doing.

“Oh, you know kinda crazy in here!” She said.

“Okay, let’s make another line. You do the drinks and I’ll handle the paying.”

She nodded grateful, and soon they handled the drinks a bit faster. She made them behind Cas and brought them over, and he sometimes finished them with a fruit or an umbrella if that was needed. He tapped most of the beers and soon the line ran a little smoother.

Cas had thought about Dean after he had moved here, it was just silly not to admit it. He never really got together with him because of three reasons.

One: They went separate ways after high school.  
Two: Cas wasn’t really sure if Dean actually was gay.  
Three: Or if he was gay, he didn’t know if Dean would even like him.

Cas had thought aboug finding out what he did or if he was in the area, but Cas had been really busy getting this place up and running so he hadn’t even been into town at the stores or at the gym for ages. He looked forward to the day when this all settled down and his days went back to some kind of order, but for now he was totally enjoying the rush it was having it all go so well.

Cas laughed at something Ronny muttered into hie ear as he walked past him. Just as he turned around to the counter still grinning, that’s when he saw him. He sat on one of the bar stools on the other side of the bar with a red headed girl between his thighs. They both were facing the bar, and Dean rested one hand on the counter and the other on her hip. Cas noticed a silver ring on his right ring finger and felt a little disappointed sting in his chest. Dean said something in the red head’s ear and she let her head fall back on his shoulder as she laughed. Comfortable in his arms, that one.

“Hello. What can I get you?” Cas said, Dean was so close that if Cas reached out his arm he could touch the man’s hand.

“I want a gin and tonic, he will have a beer.”

“Come on Charlie. You forced me here. The least you could do is getting something stronger than a beer.”  
Cas felt a jolt in his stomach hearing his voice, low and grown up. He couldn’t help but laugh.

“How about a whiskey then?” He asked and that’s when Dean looked up. Cas met his green eyes in a face that also had grown up a lot since he last saw him. He felt how Dean looked at him. Measuring him up and down, taking in the years that had passed.

“Castiel!” He said and his face lit up in a wide grin. Cas had to swallow. It was a long time since anyone called him by his whole name, and the way his name rolled of his tongue sent a shiver down his spine. And that flashing smile was really making his knees weak, he couldn’t even get himself to correct Dean, that he was Cas now.

“Dean. It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah. I didn’t know you were back in this old town?” Cas didn’t miss that Charlie looked at Dean and he wondered if Dean kind of knew. Still, he wanted to talk to the guy so it was okay with him.

“Well, it’s been almost twelve years. Figured I’d try and get some life back into the town.”

Dean laughed and watched him as he made their drinks. Dean presented the girl as Charlie and Cas nodded at her happy grin. Of course she was happy, sitting there feeling protected by Dean. He had always been the protective kind. Cas remembered one time at school he witnessed someone try to lay a hand on Dean’s little brother. Dean did not like that and it had always made Cas think of him as protective. Wonder how it might feel to be protected by him. Cas smiled a little as he put the drinks in front of them. Charlie was digging through her purse.

“I got this." Dean said but she slapped his hand.

“Like you said, I dragged you here so I might as well pay.”  
He watched as Dean lifted one eyebrow at Cas and he felt a tingling in his stomach.

Dean and Charlie sat by the bar most of the night. They talked and laughed a lot. Sometimes they talked to other peoples and they didn’t hang over each other the whole night and Cas felt himself feel a little jealous. He had no right to be. He didn’t see them being very intimate, like kissing, but the message was clear. At least he knew now that Dean wasn’t gay.

“Why are you standing here looking so longingly over at the dance floor?” Meg nudged him in the shoulder a while later and Cas made a little jump as he tore his gaze away from Dean where he was dancing with Charlie and one other dark haired woman. He sure got around it seemed but Cas knew that. Dean was really attractive and the girls had thrown themselves at him all through high school, and now that he was even better looking, of course they still had to.

“Oh, no reason.” He said and dried his hands off on a small towel and put three drinks on the counter. It was 2 am and the place was still packed. It was only half an hour before they would be closing and he had to start serving the final drinks. As far as he could tell, Dean and his girlfriend had barely been drinking at all.

“Really? Sure there isn’t someone there you would like to meet?”  
Cas huffed a laugh and shook his head.

“Now you are silly.” He stated and took another order.  
Meg didn’t press anymore but she didn’t walk away. Instead she seated herself at the very end of the bar and had the perfect view over the place.

Late that night in Cas’ apartment Meg silently put her shoes by the bed and pulled the zipper down on her dress. Cas was in the bathroom and she could hear him brush his teeth. She looked around and stole one of his t-shirts and pulled it over her head and got under the covers. She could very well had gone to her own place, but then she had to go outside, and she felt safe there with Cas. She had been through enough to know that she needed to know the place better before she started to run around alone at night. Cas came into the room in a pair of gray sweatpants and a t-shirt. They were both silent for a while, just staring at the ceiling, listening to the room that was so quiet after the music was turned off.

“Hey Cas?”

“Mmm?” He rested one arm over his forehead.

“Who was that guy who asked for a beer and kept talking to you?”

“A lot of them did, you know. It’s the life of a bartender. You get to know all kinds of secrets.” Cas said in a husky voice. He knew all too well who she was talking about, but he didn’t want to let her know that.

“But it’s not everyone’s ass you check out when they leave.”  
Cas snorted and shook his head but he didn’t answer.

“So you going to tell me about him?”

“What is there to say? I found him attractive.”

“Right. I saw you talk to him earlier, you know that guy, I know you do. He is probably about the same age?”

Cas let out a long breath. “He’s my age, yes.” He said. Giving in to her investigation.

“And?”

“Nothing.”

Meg turned to lie on her stomach.

“Come on, Cas. I barely know anything about your life from this place. I saw you talking to him, so it’s clear you have some clue about who he is.”

“We went to school together since first grade I guess. We both grew up here, we were never in the same circles and if we spoke it was only at school, and he was my first kiss.” Cas finished. Meg didn’t say anything for a while, like she needed to process her knew knowledge.

“So what happened when you kissed?”

Cas told her about how it happened. “And then we didn’t really talk after that. We met once that summer and had coffee, just a random meet in the street. I don’t even think he is gay.”

“So he just wanted to know how it was like to kiss a guy?”

Cas shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know.”

“But you like him?”

“I already told you that I find him attractive, but who doesn’t?”

“You are right about that. Man, those broad shoulders and that pretty face, I could just…” She sighed.

“Don’t do that, Meg.”

“Sorry, I won’t. Just had to tease you.” She laughed softly at him.

 **Dean**.  
Dean woke up the next morning tangled in bed sheets, long brown hair and long arms and legs. He took a deep breath as he tried to get out of her grips, but before he got too far they both jumped as the phone started to call.

“Yeah?” He grunted into the phone.

“Damnit Dean!” The girl beside him whined as she sat up rubbing her face and tried to do something about her hair.

“Dean. Are you coming over for dinner today?” His mother’s voice only hesitated for a second then she was soft and made him feel bad she heard he wasn’t alone in bed. It was Sunday and they always spent the day at home eating dinner together as a family.

“I’ll be there. You need me to bring anything?”

“It’s okay, I got what we need. But if you could pick up Jo on the way, it would be great.” She paused a moment before continuing. “Sam is bringing Jessica.”

“Yeah, I know.” He said choosing not to hear the unspoken hint in his mother’s voice.

“Okay Honey. See you later. Don’t forget about Jo. Ellen is driving straight from work.” Dean promised he wouldn’t forget about her. Jo was like a younger sister to him and Sam. She was five years younger than Sam and she was still in college. The brothers had always had her back even if she pretty much fended for herself.

“You have to go?” The girl snuggled closer.

“What time is it?”

“A quarter past twelve.”

“What?” Dean sat up but then he sank back down on the pillows. It wouldn’t matter. He would not have time for a workout, so he could just as well forget it.

“It’s your Sunday dinner isn’t it?”

Dean nodded and let one hand trail down her arm, then up again. He and Pam knew each other from way back in high school. They never had a really serious relationship, but they always came back to each other between other screwed up relationships.

“Yeah. Mum wants me to bring over someone because Jess has become like a part of our family.”

Pam laughed a little. “Well, then you have to turn to someone else, honey. I’m not the kind of girl that meets the family.”

Dean laughed out loud. “Tell me about it.”

She slapped him playfully before leaning in to kiss him. Her lips were familiar and knew exactly what he liked. Dean tightened his grip around her and she moaned softly. She let one hand run down his chest and abs and when she found him under the covers she let her fingers wrap around his half hard cock. She stroked him lazily. She came up to straddle his hips and let herself slide down around him.

Dean let out a low groan and bucked his hips up against her. She set a slow pace and leaned down to kiss him slow and soft. After a while Dean spun them around and pressed her down in to the mattress. He kept up the slow and steady rhythm that had both of them panting heavily and sigh in pleasure. He leaned down to kiss her softly and as he heard her breath catch he picked up the pace a little and she gasped. His own breath was getting shallow and when he saw Pam press her head back against the pillow with closed eyes gasping in her climax, he let nature take over and he snapped his hips forward in hard thrusts until he came.

Pam smiled up at him with a hand in his hair. "Damn you're good at that."

“You and the Sunday morning-fuck.”

He laughed a little before he pulled out of her and fell back into the bed with a satisfied sigh.

 

Dean walked into his childhood home and greeted his parents. Sam and Jess was already there sitting on the couch. Bobby and John stood by the fireplace discussing something they had heard on the news and Mary was in the kitchen with Ellen. Jo walked into the kitchen with a pie she had brought with her and Dean sat down with Sam and Jess with a yawn. Sam chuckled.

“You up late last night?”

“Try this morning. I wonder if it is because I’m getting old.”

Jess shook her head with a laugh.

“What about you two? I almost didn’t see you at all last night.”

“That’s because you were too busy with Pam.”

Dean just shrugged his shoulders with a cocky grin and they both shook their heads.

 

Mary served chicken almost every Sunday and today was no different. It was beautifully baked in the oven until it was tender and soft. They all sat down at the table, the radio played softly in the background as they ate and talked like they always did. Bobby muttered about having to eat “too damn much of them vegetables” while Jess laughed with Jo about something that had happened the night before. Dean loved being home. It felt safe and right. His parents hadn’t always been as close as they were now, but since both him and Sam moved out it had seemed like they found back together for real. Dean looked at his parents and he knew that he would want to have that. A house, with his family around him, the people he loved the most but somehow he couldn’t really figure out how to settle down.

After dessert most of them sat down in the living room, or more like fell over in the chairs, full and tired. Dean walked into the kitchen where his mother was cleaning up.

“Hey mum, you shouldn’t do this now. Come into the living room and relax a little.”

She turned to him and smiled. “I don’t mind, Dean. It’s nice to have something to do you know.”

“Mum, you have things to do all the time with your job at the florist and everything!” Dean huffed a laugh.

“I know, but I like the quiet in the kitchen after a meal.”

“Okay, you need some help, then?”

She used to do this, Dean knew that and he often helped her. He put dirty dishes in the washer while he took small pieces of the remaining pie whenever his mother turned her back. He was pretty sure she knew he did that, but he liked it the way it was. They stepped around in the kitchen with only the sound of the radio, occasional laugh from the living room and glass clinking to break the silence.

“Hey Dean.” Mary said after a while. Dean had dropped pretending he didn't eat from the remaining pie and sat down at the small kitchen table with a fork.

“Yea.”

“How are you doing?”

“What do you mean? I’m fine!” He looked confused at his mother.

“I was just thinking that you have been so quiet after Lisa and Ben that maybe you needed to talk.”

Dean nodded slowly and swallowed. He really didn’t want to talk about it. His time with Lisa had been the best and he still missed them. It was all due to a job, a huge fight and the fact that she somehow found out about his curiosity about a guy that made them brake up. The year they lived together, Dean had everything he ever wanted. A pretty woman, her boy that Dean loved like his own, a house and friends. It had been almost two years since they broke up, and he hadn’t been in any serious relationship since so his mother had started to fix him up with someone in the last couple of months.

“I’m good mum, thanks.”

“I don’t mean to bring it up if you don’t want to talk about it, but maybe it’s time you think about getting out there again.”

“I am, mum don’t worry.”

“Dean. I am not talking about a casual meet up for some late night fun; I just think you should consider going on a date again.”

He lifted his beer and took a sip before he looked up at his mother again.

“I don’t know.”

“Why Dean? You always wanted this kind of life. Look at your brother he is doing so well with Jess.”

“Yeah, they’ll probably get married soon.”

Mary smiled. “I hope so. And I want that for you too.”

“I know. I just… maybe… yeah, I’ll think about it.” He got up and grabbed the bottle, gave her a small smile before he walked into the living room. He couldn’t tell his mother about the feeling he was left with after Lisa. He felt like what he had done to her made him not deserve a second chance.


	3. The way it is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas finds his way to the gym and meets Dean. Dean is confronted by his brother about his relationship with Pam and have a miserable weekend.

**Cas**.  
Sunday the club was closed. They had talked about keeping it open from Monday to Saturday and they had decided to try it out, using it like a pub instead of a club on the weekdays. Through the research in the town it seemed like the place also needed a place to meet for a beer and a talk.

Meg had gone home to her own place that morning and Cas had visited his parents. In the evening he sat back in his own place flipping through a book. He couldn’t get Dean out of his mind. He thought about how that man had looked, he had really gotten hot. And the way he smiled made Cas' head spin. Through the years he’s had a few boyfriends, and he had decided that he wasn’t going to focus on that while they worked on the club. Now that they had opened he could try and get back out there. He knew that Dean was out of the question. He had been there with that red head last night and seemed pretty cozy with another brunette. Cas put his head back on the pillows it was stupid of him to be so hung up on him all these years later, but seeing him again was making it a bit difficult. He should try and meet someone to get Dean out of his mind, but he doubted that would be easy.

Cas had the mornings off thanks to the job he had chosen. After calling Meg to find out she wasn’t going to get out of bed anytime soon he packed his bag and went out to find the nearest gym. He stepped inside the light and friendly place. It had definitely not been there when he grew up, then again it was a lot more people now that cared about their health and physique. Cas put his bag over his shoulder and walked towards a counter in wood.

The environment was made to feel like a forest, and it worked surprisingly well. A girl in a pair of shorts and a pink and black t-shirt came out of an office and Cas immediately recognized her as the girl that was at the club with Dean. He forced himself to keep walking forward instead for running back outside. Was he not able to catch a break?

“Hey there. Castiel right?” She smiled bright and obviously remembered him.

“Yes. You were… Sorry, I don’t remember.” He said and she just brushed him off.

“Charlie. You probably meet so many over the bar that it’s a wonder you even remembered I was there.” She said and didn’t seem at all offended. “Can I help you?”

“Well, I was planning on finding a place to work out so I found the place closest to… well, where I live.”

“That’s cool. We are pretty good here if I may say so myself, but I guess you want to take a look around first? We normally just make new people sign here and then you can work out here for free for three days to figure out if this is a place you feel comfortable.”

“Really?”

“Sure. We have spinning classes, yoga, a few dance classes and of course all the other stuff that you don’t need a class to do.” She practically beamed at him and Cas didn’t know how to respond to her eagerness.

“Well, I think I’ll just sign up and take a look around for today, maybe I’ll get into one of the classes later.” He said. Charlie pushed a list over to him and he grabbed a pen and scribbled down his name.

“I swear to god, Charlie, if Sam doesn’t fix the damn air condition I’m not going to work here anymore.” A familiar voice made Cas’ head snap up and look in its direction – of course the man had to work there. Dean came walking over the floor towards them with a towel to his forehead. He was wearing a gray t-shirt that was covered in sweat and a pair of shorts. Cas swallowed hard at the sight of those well shaped thighs and he had to force himself to not let his eyes linger on the slight bulge he could see through the black shorts. He looked up just before Dean lowered the towel and saw him.

“Hi there.” Dean stopped and smiled bright at him. “You’re up early.” He teased and Cas had to laugh, at least to release some of the tension.

“Didn’t know you worked here.” He said. Cas shouldn’t be surprised. Dean had always been an athlete, so why not work at a gym?

“Yeah, my brother owns this place, so he convinced me to join in.” He rolled his eyes a little and put the towel over a strong shoulder.

“We should talk more, I need to-“

“Dean, can’t you show him around? I have to get ready for a client.” Charlie interrupted and Cas saw them exchange looks before Dean turned back to him.

“Sure”

Cas could see Charlie smiling out of the corner of his eye.

“I’ll… I’ll just go change my clothes then.” He cleared his throat and Dean pointed at the locker room. Cas changed fast, but he ended up staring at himself in the mirror, building up the courage to walk back out.

He was dressed in a pair of black shorts, white shoes and a dark blue t-shirt. His hair was like always a mess, but he didn’t bother to do anything about it. His eyes looked stressed out and he really needed to calm his nerves. Even if he worked out regularly he wasn’t really muscular, nothing like Dean at least, but that was never his plan. He was happy as long as he felt good about himself, and to do that, he needed to get sweaty from working out. He took a deep breath before he walked back out and saw Dean lean over the counter – god, look at that tight ass - in an argument with Charlie. She didn’t seem too angry, but Dean’s body was tense and the way he talked fast and sharp at her made it clear that he wasn’t happy.

“And we talked about it. You have to back off Charlie. I mean it!” He hissed.

Then she looked up to see Cas coming towards them and that made Dean aware that they weren’t alone. He pushed himself away from the counter undoubtedly sending her a meaningful look before he turned around. When Cas met his gaze he felt a jolt in his stomach, and he knew that this man wasn’t just protective, he could also be dangerous. If he was pushed too far, there was nothing that would stop him from breaking your bones. His green eyes were dark and narrow and his jaw tight. Cas swallowed as he realized that it just made him want him even more. When Dean blinked the dangerous glint in his eyes was gone, and only his tense shoulders revealed that he wasn’t as calm as he pretended to be.

After Dean showed him around the place he left him alone. They didn’t say much and Cas wondered what the fight was about and why it had made him so worked up. Dean was clearly upset about something but he was good at hiding it. Dean asked a little about the club in between telling him about the different rooms, how they put up the timetable for different classes and where he could sign up. Cas noticed how most of the girls in there sent longing looks after Dean, but he didn’t seem to notice. Cas ended up being there an hour after Dean left him alone.

The place had music in the main room, not too loud, but enough to push the little extra when he got tired. There was a rack of hand weights with mirrors in front. On the walls there were outdoorsy photos and also posters with motivational quotes. Cas really liked the environment and the fresh feeling in the room. They obviously had strong rules against steroids, and they didn’t tolerate too much noise or bad behavior. Cas decided he had to take Meg with him to this place, join a class and even if he knew he already would sign up he just had to be sure he did it because he liked working out there and not because of the chance of seeing Dean in shorts again.

***

Cas didn’t see Dean until Friday. He worked out almost every day, but either Dean wasn’t there or he was busy doing something else. He saw Charlie, but she seemed like normal, so maybe their fight wasn’t that bad? Friday morning Cas dragged Meg with him to the gym. He had told her about the place, trying to convince her to come along. They always did before, and she teased him about going there because of Dean. She may have been right, but he still denied it. Cas had joined the gym only on day two of his free tryout days, and then he had signed him and Meg up for spinning on Friday morning. She grunted and whined about getting out of bed so early, and she continued her stream of complaining while they walked to the gym. Her hair was messy and her eyes tired, and Cas almost felt sorry for her. But she had promised and he knew her well enough to know that afterwards she would be at the top of her game and bursting with energy.

When they got to the gym and into the spinning hall Dean was already there. Meg only sent Cas a knowing look before she walked over to a bike. Cas followed as he smiled quick at Dean. He nodded in return and clicked fast on the computer probably to get the playlist ready. Cas had to take a few breaths to calm himself because honestly, Dean should not be allowed to look so good with a stubble on his chin. A few more people come in and Cas saw him exchange smiles and a word here and there with most of them. It felt so everyday-like. He probably knew most of them and he liked being there.

When the class began Dean put on a microphone and Cas tried to use the voice to push himself. Dean was clearly in good shape and he pushed his class hard. The music blasted almost like at the club, they were all panting hard and Cas felt the sweat running down his spine, his face and arms. He was soaked and Meg was sending him angry looks with just the same amount of sweat. Dean was really motivating though. He got them all to push harder, and he was telling them how great they were doing. As they started to cool down Dean sat back on his bike, asking them how they were doing.

“Every damn time! I’m not going to be able to get to work!” A man yelled at him. Dean just laughed.

“Come on Benny, you are doing fine.” He said teasingly. A few others laughed and some others joined in on the complaints. It was just friendly and teasing and the aura in the room was filled with endorphins while they did a little bit of stretching to cool down even more.

“Well, that’s it. The best way to start the day, and I hope you have a great weekend.” Dean finished and turned off the microphone. He turned off the now soft music and picked up his towel to dry his sweaty forehead. Cas and Meg follow the stream of people towards the door. For a moment he could have sworn he felt Dean looking at him, but when he turned to look at him Dean was talking to a young girl. Cas stopped by a water crane to fill his bottle. Meg had grumbled something and found a mat and was already stretching.

 **Dean**.

Dean felt dizzy after his class. He had not been ready to have Castiel so close, but he had made it through by forcing himself to forget about those blue eyes looking at him. He wanted to talk to the man, but he wasn’t sure how or what to say. While he wondered what to say he saw Castiel walk towards the door with the pretty woman who looked a little pissed the entire time. He couldn’t help but look after him. His eyes were as blue as the sky in the summer and Dean wanted to know how it would feel to let his hands run through his hair. Dean turned his back on him and concentrated on the girl talking to him about her knee-injury. When he walked out a little bit later he saw Castiel and the woman he was with sitting on the floor talking to each other. Castiel was leaning his back against the wall while the woman tried to stretch. Before he could walk up to them, or away, he wasn’t sure someone stopped him.

“Where’s your head at?” A familiar voice said and he looked down at Pam.

“What are you doing here?” He said annoyed.

“I have a favor to ask.”

“Really?” Dean started walking to his office. Pam stopped in the doorway closing the door behind her.

“I have to go to a birthday tomorrow, and I need to bring someone.”

“And?”

“I need you to come.”

Dean laughed. “No can do.”

She sighed like she had been prepared for him to say that.

“I really need this you know. It is my cousin, and she always goes on and on about how she and her boyfriend stick together, and tells me I need to get my shit together ‘or you will be seen as the tramp you are’” She said in a rude voice.

Dean just chuckled.

“Well, you don’t ever help me out with the nagging from my mum so…”

“That’s because she knows we’re not together.”

Dean had to admit she had a point. He would not take her home to pretend she was her girlfriend anyway. He couldn’t do that to his family.

“Come on Dean, I’ll make you pie.” She tempted and he just smiled at her.

“What kind of party is it?” He asked her and he could see it in her eyes that she relaxed a little, she thought he was giving in, and somehow it was important to her to show up with a guy.

“It’s a birthday. You don’t have to dress for any theme, just be yourself, and it is a free bar.”

Dean lifted on eyebrow at her and she winked.

“Why is it so important for you to bring someone anyway?”

She tensed for a moment. “Because… she makes me feel bad.”

Dean put one arm around her shoulders. “Since when did you get insecure?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Never mind. I can manage on my own.” She muttered as she started to pull back.

“Pam, you know I like you, right?”

“I know.” She said a little harsh.

“So I’ll do this for you, but you owe me! Big time.” He said. She grinned big and threw herself in his arms. She found his mouth easily and Dean kissed her back.

“Oh, you are the best. Tomorrow I’ll make you feel so good.” She said and kissed him again with passion. Dean needed that; he wanted to get out some of the tension that had been harboring inside the entire week. He put his hands in her hair and pushed her against the wall with a force that made her gasp in surprise. They broke the kiss and she looked curiously at him.

“What’s the matter, honey?”

“Shut up and get out of here. When do I meet you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, about that. You may want to bring your toothbrush, we are invited to stay at their mansion by the lake.” She said and rolled her eyes.

“How about I don’t come then.” Dean said frustrated. This was so typical Pam, and the main reason they didn’t ever have a chance at being together. She made you say yes to all sorts of things, and then she dropped the bomb that would have made you say no if you knew. Why did he never learn?

“I’ll pick you up around four.” She said with a smile and opened the door.

“Maybe I won’t even be home.” He said even if both knew that he would.

“Thank you, Dean.” She said with a seductive laugh as she walked out the door in black high heeled boots.

Dean grunted annoyed and remembered that he hadn’t even been to the shower after his class. That made him even more in a mood and just then Sam decided he’d pay him a visit.  
“Dean, don’t tell me you two had sex in here again!” He said with an angry frown.

“What no!” Dean hissed at him.

“I’ve never had sex- yea okay.” He stopped when he saw the look on Sam’s face. Who was he to fool when they both knew that Dean had broken a light and ruined a shelf a while back when Pam dropped by.

“But we didn’t this time.” He stated.

“Whatever. She makes everyone believe that you did, so just… ask her to call you instead. It’s disturbing the people coming here.”

“I can’t help that she chooses to drop by like this. It’s not like I can control her.” He said rolling his eyes, only a little irritated.

“What are you doing with her anyway? You’ve been on and off since… forever.” Sam said. He never really liked her.

“We have never been on or off. We’re just… friends with benefits?” Dean tried and smirked at his brother. Sam just shook his head.

“You may want to think about how she makes you look if you ever want to settle down you know.”

“What do you mean by that?” Dean asked defensively.

“Well, I’m just saying that she is safe to have sex with, and she may also stand in the way of anyone else that potentially can be something more than that.”

“Sammy, you are such a girl. Let me get in the shower and leave this place for today.”

 

Dean sat beside Pam looking out of the window at the road that took them into the forest and away from their little town. He did not look forward to this evening, but he had promised to be there for her, and they knew each other well enough to pass as a couple, no problem. The problem was Sam. Somehow he had managed to get him thinking yesterday. He didn’t like to think that having Pam in his life, made it difficult to find something more.

Despite what his mother thought of him, that he only enjoyed what she called ‘late night fun’ he really didn’t want to be that guy. He knew he was, and that everyone that knew him knew that. But the ones that really knew him saw that he wished for a family, a stable life with a job and a happy and easy life. Pam definitely wasn’t that kind of person. She wanted to have fun, and she should, Dean was most certainly not going to stand in her way. She also was a lot of fun, he liked being around her, it made everything seem much easier. But not today. Damn Sammy that couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

His mind almost absently floated towards the year with Lisa and Ben and how easy everything was. They had barbeques in the garden, they went to the beach and they were happy together. That is until Dean had to go ahead and be charmed by a cute guy in the neighborhood. The man, Robin, had started flirting with him, soon Dean had flirted back, and they had started to go out together. It was easy to hide; he had just made a new friend. But he wasn’t just a friend. They were out drinking or eating, they went out with each other’s friends both because they wanted to meet them, and because they could use it as an excuse. In the beginning it was only light touches with a hand on the others back or their hands brushing against each other. Then Dean found himself resting his hand on Robin’s thigh under the table. From there it wasn’t long until they pushed each other against walls of bathrooms or trees when they were out running. They were both hungry for each other and even if Dean felt sick with his bad conscience for cheating on Lisa he wasn’t able to stop this. The only thing that went through his mind was that he finally had found something that he deep down always had known he wanted. That was about the time Lisa started to ask questions and instead of dragging it out they had a long talk with both of them crying before their breakup was a fact.

Dean was really sad they had to break up, and he felt so bad about everything so he fled the place. He found an apartment closer to home, he got a job with Sam and he bought the garage where he had worked with Bobby since he was a teenager. He still sent cards and presents to Ben for birthdays and Christmas, and got cute cards in return with stuff he had made at school. Dean knew that Lisa wasn’t mad at him, and he was happy she had found a new guy, hopefully someone that wasn’t as unstable and unsure as he was.

“Hey there, you have been pretty far away.” Pam suddenly said with a soft voice.

“Yeah, I guess. We there yet?” He looked ahead at a big house in the end of an almost white road with pretty and trimmed trees following by.

“We are.” She said and looked at his horrified face.

“How the hell am I going to fit in here?” He asked and laughed a little nervously.

“Oh, you pretty much won’t and that’s just perfect.” She said and Dean felt a little offended.

The greeting was every bit as embarrassing as he thought it would be. Then they were followed up to their room. Dean felt utterly stupid being in such surroundings and he let out a sigh as he slumped down on the bed. Pam looked at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Where can I find something to drink?” He asked instead.

 

Dean knew he probably drank too much, but he couldn’t help but feel bad about everything. He didn’t want to be there when he could have been at the club trying to work up the courage to talk to Castiel. Dean had found out that if he wasn’t with anyone, maybe he should try and find out if the man wanted to go out sometime. It should be easy. He just had to ask. Back at the room that night they fell asleep as soon as the head hit the pillow and Dean woke up the next day with a bad taste in his mouth and Pam crying by his side.

“Hey hey… shhshh.. it’s okay. I’m here.” He whispered and put his arms around her to pull her closer.

She kept crying and pressed herself closer to him and Dean held her while he nuzzled her hair and whispered softly in her ear. After a while she calmed down and Dean got up to get them some aspirin and water. Pam looked at him with wet eyes and a new rush of tears streamed. He was used to this. After all the years with Pam he knew that when she got too drunk, she needed to cry the next day.

Sometimes the night before as well, but not always. She needed him to be there with her, and she cried for the littlest things. Like now she cried because Dean was kind enough to bring her aspirin and water. He had learned that he shouldn’t try and help her; he just had to wait it out. So he settled behind her and held her tight to his chest until she calmed down.

Then she turned to face him and she pulled him closer into a kiss that turned into hitched breaths and loud moans. There was no sound besides their pants and soft moans with their bodies tangled together in a needy rhythm, until they lay side by side taking deep breaths.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, I can’t do this anymore.” Dean said and sat up. Pam sat up to look at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t… this… between us…” He looked at her.

“You don’t like me anymore.”

Dean shook his head slowly.

“You know that’s not it. There’s a reason we have been able to keep this up over twelve years, Pam. I’m just saying that maybe I’ve reached a place where I want to look for something more permanent.” He stood up and walked towards the shower. Pam came after him. She stood under the water for a while.

“So you are saying we shouldn’t keep seeing each other.”

“Well, yes. If I go out with someone and still have sex with you it’s pretty much a bad thing to do to someone.”  
Pam agreed to that and she put one arm around him.

“But we can still like… talk, right?”

“Like we ever really talk.” Dean huffed a laugh and earned a pinch on his arm.

“We do talk, we just usually talk better _after_ sex.” She rolled her eyes.

“But I’m not going to stand in your way of finding someone proper.”

“Pam. You are proper, but we already know we don’t really fit to be a couple.”

“I know, but it still stings. Who is she?” She looked up at him and Dean shook his head.

“I’m not telling you.”


	4. I came here to see you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is angry after seeing Dean with Pam. When Dean comes into his bar they start talking and Cas can't stay angry. Dean goes to a party at Gabriel's to meet Cas, he get a bit too drunk...

**Cas**.

Cas had been in a bad mood ever since Friday. He knew too well that the reason was that he saw the pretty girl leave Dean’s office with that seductive laugh. Even if he already knew that Dean liked women it didn’t mean that he was okay to see it happen in front of him. He had found out Charlie clearly wasn’t with Dean when she on Saturday night came into the club with another girl holding hands and kissing. At least he didn’t have to worry about her, but then there was that brunette. He didn’t see either Dean or that woman all weekend, even if Sam was at the club on Saturday. Meg got tired of his moping so she gave him a speech and eventually he just had to pull it together.

On Monday he went to the gym but the place was seriously too quiet. He only saw Sam where he had a client sitting on a bench. He smiled fast at him and then he was left to himself. He could like that, so he worked out a bit longer and harder than he needed, but it made him feel better. It had proved to be a success to keep the club open through the week. They had a quiz on Wednesdays and served light food. Some days the place was filled up and for some reason there was three clubs that visited them regularly. One book club, a club for drawing, and one that Cas wasn’t really sure about. Maybe they made plans to murder someone, or maybe they just talked about flowers, it was hard to tell. Madison had called in sick that morning and Ronny had a date so Cas had to step in as bartender. He really didn’t mind, Mondays usually was really quiet anyway so he picked out a book from his shelf in case he got some free time.

They closed at eleven on the weekdays and Cas was cleaning off the counters at ten thirty when the door opened. He tried not to follow his urge to just run away when he recognized the man with the ruffled hair, green jacket and blue jeans. He watched Dean sit down at the bar and let one hand run through his hair. Cas really didn’t want to talk to him, but he was the only one there so he had to. He walked stiffly over to him.

“Hello. Can I get you anything?”

Dean smiled a little. “A beer is fine.”

Cas put a beer in front of him and was about to walk away when Dean spoke to him.

“You often work in the bar?”

“Sometimes.” Car shrugged his shoulders.

“Do you like it?”

“What? Being a bartender?”

Dean nodded and put the bottle against his perfect lips. Cas swallowed. He had to stop thinking about him like this. He cleared his throat.

“Sure. It’s fine. I got used to it through college. Its okay money and I got to be where the action happened without having to bother getting drunk, and earn money in the process instead of getting broke.” He looked at how Dean threw himself into the laugh.

“You are a smart one.” He said and Cas smiled and warmed a little too much at the compliment.

“So how about you? Busy working for your brother?” Cas asked before he could stop himself from engaging in a conversation.

“Well I only have a 30 per cent position with Sam, the rest of the time I’ll be working at my garage.”

“Your garage?”

“I own a garage just south of the town, so if you ever have car trouble...” He smiled with a wink and lifted the bottle again. Cas stared. Did Dean… Flirt with him?

“Can I ask where you live? I know your parents still live in the same place they always did, you crashing with them?”

Cas huffed a laugh. “No. I may like my family but I like some privacy better. I live upstairs.” He pointed at the roof.

“Really? That is really cool.”

“You think so?”

“Definitely. I have a loft as well, but I bet it’s nowhere as cool as living above a club, I am renting from an old lady, she is nice of course, but the guy living on the second floor is a real buzz kill.” Dean laughed a little and Cas found himself laughing at that.

“Gabe said that if I didn’t make it into an apartment, he would.”

“I guess, but he’s got a pretty crazy place himself.” Dean said and Cas was surprised that Dean knew his brother.

Gabriel was only one year older than them and he lived in a houseboat on the lake. Cas asked how they knew each other and it turned out that they actually were friends.

“He talked about a party in the boat on Sunday.” Dean said.

Cas nodded. He knew about that. His brother had been clinging on him until he reluctantly promised he would be there.

“Yeah, he takes his parties seriously.”

Cas laughed. “I don’t know how anyone manages to stay friends with the guy. He is weird and so annoying.”

“He can be annoying, but he is the funny kind so I don’t think anyone minds.” Dean smiled.

He hadn’t really meant to go to the party because his mother was not so pleased that he didn’t come to the Sunday dinner last night, but he sure couldn’t miss this. He got up from the chair.

“I guess I’ll see you around, Castiel. Thanks for the beer.” He said as he turned to walk to the door.

Cas stood there looking after him. Dean was the only one that called him by his whole name and he didn’t know why that made him feel tingly, but it was hard to hold back the shiver that ran up his spine.

 

The rest of the week went by in a haze. Cas worked most of the days at the bar, or he was doing paperwork for their club with Meg. This weekend the place was packed as usual and Cas finally started to believe that their club might actually be a hit. They worked into late nights and Meg crashed with Cas.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” She asked when they both lay in the bed staring at the ceiling.

“I’m going to Gabriel’s.”

“Yeah, with Deeean.” She dragged out the name teasingly.

“Stop it, Meg.”

“I’m just saying, Cas. Maybe you should give it a try.”

“You’ve seen him with the girls, and the girl at the gym on Friday, it’s probably his girlfriend.”

Meg shook her head smiling.

“I’m not so sure. He looks at you too you know. When you look the other way, he checks you out.”

Cas was silent for a moment. “Really?”

“Cas, I saw him yesterday. Even if he was laughing with that red headed girl, he let his eyes glance over at you, let them run over your body. I’m telling you, he is interested.”  
Cas tried not to get too excited about it, but it was hard. Maybe Den actually looked at him, and maybe he hadn’t forgotten about their kiss. At least he remembered Cas.

“Well, Gabriel told me that as far as he knew Dean’s only been together with girls and a lot of them apparently.” He really tried not to sound jealous about it but it was hard.

“That doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in you, Cas. You could at least figure out if there’s a chance?”

 

Cas drove to Gabriel around six o’clock the next day. It was sunny outside and Cas knew that they would spend a lot of the time in the water around the boat. When he got there it was already a lot of people swimming, sunbathing or playing different games in or outside the water. There was laughter and drinking and Cas had totally forgotten about Gabriel’s ability to make a good time. The moment he was inside the door Gabriel came over and wrapped him in a hug.

“Finally brother. I am glad to see you out in the sun.” He laughed at his brother who was dressed in a pair of Hawaii-shorts and a blue shirt hanging open over his shoulders. Cas smiled.

“I guess it was about time.” He answered.

“Definitely. Now, get yourself in here.” Gabriel dragged him into the kitchen where someone stood cutting up salad.

“The grill is almost ready to get those burgers going.”

The whole place was full of life and Cas found himself relaxing. When he came out on what Gabe called the porch, but actually was the place he anchored his boat, he was met with music and the sight of someone jumping from the boat and into the water. Someone was clapping and cheering on before they jumped after with a laugh. Cas looked at them as they came above water again. The first one dragged himself up on land again and high fived the other. Strong muscles and tanned skin and ruffled hair on top. He stood up and Cas recognized him. He took a sharp intake of air and grabbed the railing. Dean talked to the other man that dragged himself on to the dock and before he knew it the guy shoved him back into the water, but Dean grabbed his hand and they both splashed into the water laughing. Somehow Cas felt even more jealous of this man than he had been on the girls.

 

 **Dean**.

When Dean got up from the water he gasped for air and looked over at Benny. They both laughed before Dean threw himself at him and pushed him under again. More people were ready to jump from the boat so they had to get away and Dean got back up from the water. It was hot in the air and the spring was just as great as it used to and Gabe’s party never failed. When they started to get the food ready Dean went inside to change his clothes. He didn’t want to freeze and he wanted to look decent when he met Castiel. He knew it was stupid, but he had put down a light blue shirt that made him look tan and bring out the green in his eyes. He rolled up the sleeves on the shirt and buttoned the jeans before he got back outside to get something to eat. He told himself he didn’t look for him, but when he got up on the roof of the houseboat he searched the crowd to look for that black messy hair. He found him standing beside Gabe overlooking the lake. He held a bottle of beer in his hand and his green shirt was tight around his slender body and rolled up on his arms. Dean decided to get something to eat before he tried talking to the man. He looked seriously too hot for anyone to dare even look at and the city boy he probably was after being away for several years, was most likely not interested in a small town guy like himself.  
Dean beat himself up over being so nervous, so he thanked Benny when he pushed a shot in his hand.

“To get you started.” He laughed. Dean threw it back and felt it burn down his throat.

“Get me a beer.” Dean said and stood beside his friend while they waited for the burgers to come their way. The music was playing in the background, and people stood around in bigger or smaller groups talking. Dean got a few more shots and his burger and made way over to Castiel.

“Hey there. Mind if I disturb your daydreaming?” Dean smiled at him and Castiel turned to look who spoke.

“Not at all. You finally got something to eat?”

“Yeah, your brother is making killer burgers!”

Castiel nodded in agreement. Dean rested his elbow on the railing as he dug into the burger. Castiel looked over at him and huffed a laugh and Dean just rolled his eyes a little embarrassed.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t eaten all day.”

“Don’t you cook?”

“I do actually, but Sundays usually says family dinner at my parents house so I kind of wait until Monday to go grocery shopping.”

“So how come you didn’t go home today then?”

Dean looked at Castiel for a while. His eyes were big and so blue. He couldn’t remember them being so blue and framed in dark lashes. He swallowed and looked down. The man was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans that was clinging to his slender hips. Dean shifted from one foot to the other. It must have been that he was slightly drunk that made him bold enough to tell him the truth.

“I… um… I kind of wanted to meet you here.” He said eventually. His heart was beating and his head spinning but when he looked up he was rewarded with a smile that made Castiel’s face even prettier.

“So… uh, have you gotten a burger?” Dean said after a while in awkward silence. Castile shook his head.

“Well, I’m going for number two.” Dean said and pushed himself back and walked towards Gabe.

It wasn’t easy to make the way through the crowd, but Dean didn’t mind as long as he managed to make some space between him and Castiel. Why had he even said anything like that? It was just plain stupid. He probably scared the man, or freaked him out. Dean emptied his beer and immediately grabbed a new one. He was starting to feel the beers and the shots, but he had already made a fool of himself and he wasn’t able to stop now.

“How you doing, Dean? My brother bothering you?”

“Don’t worry, he doesn’t really say much.” Dean said and Gabe rolled his eyes.

“What’s the matter with him? I told him to have some fun!”

“He’s doing fine I think.” Dean said as he grabbed a plate. He looked around, Castiel was nowhere to be found. Dean made his way over to Benny who stood with a group of their friends. Garth looked up at him.

“Who pissed you off?”

“No one.” Dean muttered and took a bite of his burger to stop him from asking more.

Garth seemed to take the hint and turned back to talk to Benny and Crowley. As the night came closer it became dark. Gabe had put out lights that hung in chains from one side to the other and lit up dim and cozy. The music became softer and everyone seemed to ease down. Gabriel didn’t do the crazy kind of party’s anymore; he liked it when everyone hung together with their friends to have a good time. It wasn’t about getting too drunk or get a girl. It wasn’t always like that, but by the time Gabriel got closer to thirty, he stopped those wild parties and did this instead. Dean was sure that everyone secretly appreciated it.

Tonight though, Dean had gone a little too far. His head was spinning in an unpleasant way, he felt a little mopy after being so stupid to out himself at Castiel, and even worse that the man not even said anything about it. Dean walked down into the boat, but he came out again. Gabriel didn’t like the mess inside his boat, so he kept to the “porch” on the level under the roof. Here it was dark and silent. Dean had found a bottle of water and rested his head on his arms. He could still hear the music from upstairs but a soothing wind and the water made him feel a little bit better. He didn’t know how long he stood there before he heard a familiar voice behind him.

“You going to throw up?” The gravelly voice said with humor.

Dean lifted his head and turned slowly with narrowed eyes.” I’m good.” He said.

“You don’t look so good.”

“I may or may not have had one too many drinks tonight.” He grunted and leaned heavily on the railing.

“That can’t be good.”

“I’ll be fine.” Dean said with a weak smile.

Castiel came closer and Dean could smell him. He smelled so nice, a little bit of burger and smoke from upstairs, but he still smelled like himself, manly and confident. He turned around again looking out at the darkness with his shoulder almost touching Castiel’s shoulder.

“So um… you actually came here to see me?”

“Did a poor job, didn’t I?” Dean asked with a small smile. Castiel shrugged his shoulders once. They looked at each other for a while and Dean started to feel uncomfortable.

“How about I make it up to you? We can meet up later this week to go get something to eat and I promise I won’t drink anything other than a coke.” Dean said with a tentative smile.

Castiel kept staring at him until Dean felt really stupid for asking. At least he was drunk and could blame it on that.

“Never mind… forget I asked.” Dean whispered and swallowed the hurt as he leaned against the railing, looking down in the black lake.

“You… uh… You want to go out with me?” Castiel almost whispered. Dean took a long breath.

“Castiel, you don’t have to. I just wanted to… well I think I may be a little confused.” Dean said.

When Castiel took one step forward and into his personal space Dean looked at him. They were almost equally tall, but Dean had a few inches on him. His blue eyes were soulful and bright, and his lips pink and so pretty. They were slightly parted and Dean had to force himself to look up again.

That’s when Castiel leaned in. Their lips met and Dean froze for a moment before he gained control again. By the time Castiel had one hand on his wrist and the other behind his back. Dean kissed him back, the soft and pretty lips were so much better than he remembered. When Castiel let his tongue slide over his lip, Dean opened his mouth to let him in. His hands snaked around the dark man and pulled him closer which earned him a small gasp. Castiel pressed his body against his and pressed Dean against the railing without being able to move. Dean moaned when he felt his tongue inside his mouth and that made Castiel lose it. One of his hands was shoved up in his hair and pull lightly at it, while the other found its way beneath his shirt. Dean jumped in surprise when Castiel let one finger run over his hip bone and Dean let his head fall back. Castiel kissed his neck eagerly down his throat and he sucked on his collarbone.

“Oh god.” Dean groaned and let his fingers run through the dark and messy hair like he had dreamed of for the last couple of weeks.

He deepened the kiss and they were both breathing heavy and pressed their bodies tight against each other. Someone came walking towards them and they leaped away turning to look out on the lake with appropriate space between them. Dean felt himself shake and he couldn’t seem to stop.


	5. I don't scare that easily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is insecure about whether Dean remembered their meeting at the party. Dean is still taking him out on a date.

**Cas**.

Cas saw Dean leave with Benny. He was still feeling dizzy from their kiss and he couldn’t forget about how shaky and affected Dean had been. The thought of him doing that to him was slightly addictive. He stood on the roof of the boat and saw Dean walk unsteady towards his car, he had an argument with Benny about which one should drive, and eventually Benny just pushed him in the passenger seat and forced the keys from his hand. He heard Dean’s angry swearing, but he was glad Benny didn’t let him drive in that condition.

“Still crushing on that Winchester man?” A teasing voice came from behind him. Cas turned to look at his brother. They were alone on the boat except for Gabriel’s girlfriend who was inside.

“Shut up.”

Gabe chuckled.

“Come on, you can tell me.” He teased and Cas just shook his head refusing to look at his brother.

“Cas, it’s okay, but you may want to start seeing someone that isn’t quite so straight.”

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t been here for the last decade, but I have. That man is, well, not gay and he also isn’t someone that wants to settle down for some family life.”

Cas wanted to shut his brothers voice out, he didn’t want to hear those things about the pretty man with the greenest eyes. He also got a feeling in the pit of his stomach, a cold aching.

“I’m sorry.” Gabe let one hand rest on his shoulder.

“What if he is a little gay?” Cas asked and looked at his older brother with wide eyes. He knew that Gabe could laugh at him and call him stupid, but he smiled gently.

“You mean that he is gay for you?” Gabe asked and Cas blushed.

“Two years ago he lived with a woman and her kid. For someone like Dean, who wants to live his life without much responsibility he seemed very happy. But it was still with a woman, you know.”

Cas nodded and stared down at his hands. Gabriel had always been the one to talk to. He may be unpredictable and a constant prankster, but to Cas he had always made sense and protected him.

“I’m going home now.” Cas said.

He wanted to tell his brother about their kiss, that they was planning on going on a date, but he didn’t want to see pity in his brothers eyes so he decided to go home and think it through. They hadn’t even decided a day to go on that date so maybe tomorrow Dean would have forgotten about it all. Still, when he got home and laid in bed he couldn’t help but think about their kiss and how fast Dean reacted to him. He was trembling in his arms and his mouth was eager. Cas let his hand run over his hardening length and let out a soft moan at the thought of the small and delicious sounds the man had made earlier that night. He stroked himself faster picturing his eyes looking up at him and that pretty, pretty mouth wrapped around his cock. Cas breathed fast and came with a stuttering groan and Dean’s name on his lips.

 

Cas didn’t have Dean’s number and he didn’t want to go up to him at the gym so he decided to just let the days go by and see if Dean talked to him. He didn’t see Dean in the beginning of the week. He was at the gym every morning, but only Sam and Charlie was there. He tried not to be affected by it, but Meg wasn’t fooled.

“Clarence, tell me what’s going on.” She demanded on Wednesday after their workout. They sat at a coffee shop across the street of the gym to get some lunch.

“Nothing’s going on.” Cas didn’t know why he bothered to deny it, he knew that Meg was aware of his bad mood, and probably what caused it as well.

“Right, I forgot. You don’t talk about stuff anymore.” She sent him an irritated glance.

If there was something they both appreciated about their relationship, it was their openness. Both talked to the other about the stuff that was going on in their life especially if something was wrong. Cas sighed loud.

“I just don’t want to talk about it.”

“At least tell me what it’s about. Maybe I can help.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “It’s just stupid.”

“Tell me what happened at your brother’s party.” Meg said and Cas tensed a little. He had avoided talking about it, but he should have known Meg would put the pieces together.

“Why do you keep asking about that?”

“Because you spent Monday very happy, then you got anxious and now you are just grumpy.” She said.

“Did you fight with Dean or something?”

“No, I kissed him.” Cas muttered. Meg smiled at him, even if she was surprised.

“Wow, that’s a good thing then or what? Did he kiss you back or did he ask you to back off?”

“Oh, he kissed me back alright, but he was really drunk.”

They were quiet for a bit. Cas looked at a mother who was trying to get her kid to eat something.

“And he said we should go out some time, but now I’m starting to think that he either forgot or that he is avoiding me.”

“Did he ask you out?”

“Well, it was more like an agreement because some shit that happened. I haven’t seen him all week, I don’t have his number and I don’t even know what to say to him.”

Meg put one hand on top of his.

“Cas, don’t jump to conclusions. You don’t know where he is, maybe he is working at his other job, or he is sick.”

Cas nodded not really registering that Meg had called him Cas instead of Clarence. She only did that when she wanted him to really listen to what she said. He took a deep breath.

“You are right. I told you I am stupid! We should just go to the spinning class tomorrow, and then we go to work.”

 

Like he said, the next day he got to the gym for the morning spinning class. They got to their places and Cas barely dared to look at Dean. He was dressed in a red shorts and his thighs looked as strong as ever. He had a concerned forrow on his forehead, but he still smiled at him. Cas swallowed, maybe something had happened. Was it him? Did he regret what happened between them?  
Cas didn’t have time to ramble on about it, the music started and a song with heavy bass started playing. The man sang about making yourself proud, and Dean told them to go all out, make themselves proud, and as the song picked up the beat, so did Dean. Urging them to step on it. He kept pushing them like he always did and in between two songs, all Cas heard was his own heart beating and the shallow breaths of all the people in the room.

It was the last hill they would be climbing that the song started playing. It was cheesy and the first line a woman sang was:

“You’ve got me running around, I keep burning up.”

Dean asked them to stand up and put on more resistance as he pulled himself up on the bike and the woman sang:

“But you please me when you tease me and I just want more.”

Cas looked up at Dean and met his green eyes looking directly at him and then he winked teasingly at him before he concentrated on motivating the rest of the class. Cas blushed and pulled in a quick breath and he heard Meg squealing beside him.

After the class Dean opened the door and all of them stream out of the room. He was stopped by several people to talk so Cas decided he wouldn't hang around waiting and looking stupid. Dean came after him and stopped in the main room.

“Hey there. I’m sorry I haven’t contacted you.” Dean said. “This week has been crazy with work and I got an assignment at the garage that I didn’t know about and then the days just flew by.”

“It’s okay.”

“Well, I should at least have called to tell you that.”

Cas looked up at him, bracing himself. “You still want to meet me?”

“Yes, but I’m afraid we will have to do it next week.” Dean looked genuinely sorry and Cas nodded.

“Okay. How about you meet me next Tuesday at seven and we take it from there?” Cas asked.

“Sounds good.” Dean smiled.

 

 **Dean**.

Dean had spent the first days of the week being anxious about what happened that weekend. First of all, he wasn’t really gay, and nobody really knew about it. Maybe Sam had a suspicion, but he never actually said anything. After being scared about what happened, he had realized that he actually wanted it, so he just calmed himself enough and finally talked to Castiel about a date.

That night he went home to his parents, and his mother gave him a bit of a hard time about ditching the last Sunday family dinners.

“You know it’s a tradition, and we like to keep it that way.”

“I know.”

“So don’t make it a habit.”

He promised to come this weekend.

“Tomorrow afternoon Ellen and Jo is making dinner. Jo is bringing her new boyfriend so she wants everybody to be there to meet him.”

“Sure. What time?”

“Seven.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be off work at five I think.”

His mother asked him about what he had been doing for the last couple of days and she told him about a girl that came by at her store.

“She is so pretty and so nice. I really think you should meet her.”

“You call her a girl and you want me to meet her?” He teased.

“Dean, she probably is about twenty-five.”

“She would be better for Sam.”

“But he is already with someone.”

Dean sat back in his chair and listened while his mother told him about that girl, but his thought went to Castiel. His blue eyes were really disturbing and he had been thinking about that body a lot more lately, like in the shower or in bed, that reminded him, he couldn’t forget to change the sheets on his bed tonight. His landlady probably wondered why he used the laundry room so much. Dean wanted to let his hands run down Castiel’s back and let a finger slide beneath his waistband, making him shiver before he opened the button of his tight jeans. He swallowed and remembered he was still in the kitchen with his mother and it was totally inappropriate thinking like this.

The family dinner at Ellen’s went by without any big events; they ate and talked like they used to do. Jo showed off her boyfriend and Dean looked firmly at him, feeling like this guy might be more trouble than good, but he didn’t say anything. He had done that before and Jo had a mean fist.

Dean spent a lot of his time thinking and worrying about Tuesday when he was supposed to meet with Castiel. He knew he wanted it, but he was also really insecure. Last time he flirted with a guy everything went to hell. At least this time he was single and his biggest issue was that somebody started to ask what he was doing out with a guy. At the Sunday family dinner he was silent, so much that even Sam asked him what was going on.

“You seem distracted.” He noted.

Dean just shook his head and when his brother wanted to continue his worrying he just cut him off starting to talk about a car he was working on.

 

Tuesday he finished work early and got home into the shower. He dressed in a pair of black jeans and a plaid shirt. He didn’t want to be too formal; but he still fixed his hair and put on cologne.  
He drove to the club and saw Castiel come out towards the car. He was dressed in black tight jeans and a blue shirt that made his eyes pop. His hair was messy and he smiled almost shyly. Dean swallowed; this man was just too much. He was gorgeous. Castiel sat in his car and commented on the old rumbling thing. Dean smiled pleased that he liked it and started to drive out on the road. It wasn’t far, but far enough that they wouldn’t meet someone he knew. Dean thought it was stupid, but he still couldn’t help it.

He knew about a little restaurant that served the best salmon and when Castiel told him he loved salmon they both ordered it. Dean was drinking coke like he had promised and Castiel had a beer. Somehow they both talked all the time almost as if they already knew each other. Castiel told about his time in college and that he met Meg there. Dean told about his work with the garage, and he even told him about Lisa and Ben.

“So Ben is your son?”

“Not biologically, but we became really close and since his real dad never was in the picture he kind of grew into looking at me that way. That’s kind of what hurts me the most. That I left him.”

“You still talk to him?”

“From time to time. I use to send him something for his birthdays and such, and sometimes he calls to talk.”

“That sounds very nice.”

Dean nodded.

Castiel told him about his brothers, that his two oldest brothers, Michael and Balthazar had moved and gotten their own families.

“They don’t come home so often, but we keep in touch, a little at least. They didn’t like my… well, me being gay, especially Michael.”

“Really? I thought your family was like really accepting.”

“They are. I told them and none of them said much. My parents said they knew from I was young, and they have supported me ever since. Gabe doesn’t care either way.”

Dean nodded and in the silence he looked around in the restaurant. It was warm and intimate, with candles and soothing music.

On the way home, Dean drove past his garage to show Castiel where he worked and that resulted in them talking about cars the entire way home. At least Dean did. Castiel didn’t seem to know so much about cars but he asked questions now and again and before they knew it Dean stopped outside the club. It was after closing time, so it was dark inside.

“Do you want to come inside?”

“I would, but I have to get up early tomorrow.” Dean said and saw Castiel give a small nod.

“Thanks for the dinner, Dean.” Castiel said looking straight at him. Dean felt his heard skip a beat before running away with him. He smiled.

“I’m glad I didn’t make too much a fool of myself.” He said and watched the pretty smile break out in his face. He wanted to lean in for a kiss, but he didn’t want to push it.

“No, I don’t scare that easily. We should do it again.” And Dean remembered that it was almost the same they had told each other so many years ago. He smiled.

“I hope so.”


	6. An angel with pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean both wonder what their date really was. Cas decides to take matters into his own hands. Dean is freaking out.

**Cas**.  
Cas spent the entire date wondering whether this was a date between friends, or an actual date; something that could become more. Dean never made any moves that showed him one way or the other. One moment he could flirt with him and present an almost-compliment. Like saying that his hair looked hot, when talking about working out and the hair was messy after. The next moment he would seem distant like he was thinking about something far away. Maybe he was nervous, but Cas didn’t get the impression that Dean was stressed out.

He decided he would have a good time no matter what this was and if he took the chance, he would ask what this date was. In the end of the night Cas was still not sure, and he still hadn’t asked. He wanted so bad to pull Dean close and kiss those full lips that had been there in front of him all night, but he was afraid he would be rejected now that Dean had been drinking only Coke, like he had promised. Even if they parted ways that night without much, Dean seemed like he wanted to meet with him again. It was mid-week and that was the time Dean worked the most. On weekends, Cas was the one occupied. Maybe their timetables just wouldn’t add up.

He walked up the stairs and into his bathroom where he brushed his teeth and undressed. He wondered if Dean had been with another man before. According to Gabe, he definitely hadn’t, but things could happen that nobody knew about and Gabe wasn’t the type to pay attention to that kind of details. Cas walked into his bedroom to find Meg lying on his bed with a book. She smirked at him but totally ignored his stream of complaints to her practically bursting in on his private home and make herself at home.

“But you didn’t seem to mind before.” She stated.

“You don’t live that far from here.” Cas answered and felt angry because he couldn’t spend time alone in bed thinking about Dean and what he wanted to do with the man.

“I was tired.”

“You are always tired.”

Meg rolled her eyes. “Now tell me, how was your date?”

“I know that is the real reason you didn’t go home.”

“Guilty. Spill.”

Cas put his clothes back into the closet before he walked over to the bed.

“It was very nice. We ate salmon, and talked a lot.”

Meg nodded. “But?”

“Nothing.”

“I can feel you are holding back. Did you kiss?”

“No.”

“Why? You already have so why not today?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure if this was a date between friends or a date between… well, something more.” He finished.

“You don’t think he likes you? I told you that he looks at you all the time and when you guys talk his eyes shine like emeralds.”

Cas huffed a laugh.

“I think he likes me, but I don’t know how much. Maybe he just wants to be friends.”

Cas was annoyed that Meg was there, in his bed no less, but he was glad to get this off his chest. He told her about the restaurant they were at and that the food had been impeccable.

“No way a straight guy takes a friend to a romantic restaurant like that, you should know that.”

That made sense. All the tables at the restaurant were made for two. Cas should stop over thinking everything.

 

The next few days Cas spent working or he was at home with his family.

“Have you settled in now, Cas?” His mother, Hester smiled gently at him.

“I have. Meg seems to like it here too.”

“Yes, I think she does. She is very nice.”

“She is a good friend.” Cas said not commenting on the ‘nice’ part. Meg was a great friend to him, but she didn’t let anyone get close easily.

“Why is it you bring a girl home instead of a guy? I thought you didn’t do that?” His father, Chuck smiled a little. Cas blushed slightly.

“Well, I work better with her. I went out with this guy for a while, Andre he was called, but Meg started to call him Uriel, he didn’t turn out so nice.”  
His father roared with laughter and now that Cas had put it behind him he could laugh too. Hester wanted to know if he was seeing someone new, but he changed the subject to get away from it.

“Balthazar is coming over with his family this weekend. They are going to stay a few days.” Cas hadn’t talked to him for a while. His two daughters had only met him a few times, when they got together at Christmas. He looked forward to meet them again.

 

Cas decided to take matters into his own hands. Friday he texted Dean to find out if he was working at the gym or the garage. When he found out he was at the garage, Cas bought a couple of coffees and a slice of pie and drove down to meet him. He got out of the car and walked towards the music. There was a lot of cars outside in different conditions. A few actually looked like cars, then there were others that only held the skeleton of a car.

The sun was shining down and both the door into an office where he could see a scrawny guy sit in front of a desk, and the garage door was open as well. A pair of legs came out from under the car and Cas assumed it would be Dean, but he didn’t know whether he worked with others, so he just stood there. This wasn’t exactly a place he felt at home. All he knew about cars was that he needed to buy fuel and call someone the moment there was a light in the dashboard. He called out Dean’s name and a moment later the feet under the car rolled forward and the whole man was there in front of him.

Cas had to take a deep breath. He had always thought that Dean was good looking with his green eyes confident walk and broad shoulders. He had looked at him through high school from afar and knew that when he struggled in math his brow would furrow and he bit his lip. On the field in football he knew that Dean gave it all, ran fast and that he looked just as good with his hair full of sweat and victory in his eyes. In front of him right now was a man with his coveralls over his legs, but zipped down and tied around his hips. He had a black t-shirt on that clearly was stained with stuff from the car he was under, and so was his face. His hair was ruffled and messy, but his grin was breathtaking.

“Hey. That was quick!” Dean greeted and walked over to turn down the music.

Cas had to clear his voice. “Yeah. Um… I was already out to get lunch. Thought I could bring it here.”

“Really? That’s very nice.” Dean smirked at him and Cas felt himself blush. He didn’t know what made him so nervous, maybe it was the stunning thing that was Dean in front of him, or that he was on Dean’s home turf.

“I picked up some coffee and pie.”

Dean’s face showed shock for a moment before it turned into pure joy.

“You brought pie? Pie?” He asked and came closer. Cas could smell oil, iron and a little bit of sweat that actually was making him dizzy with want.

“You like it?” He asked with a smile and handed over the bag. Dean grabbed it and took out the pie.

“Apple and pecan. I can’t believe you. I could kiss you!” He laughed and made a groan. That sound traveled straight down between Cas’ legs.

“Here, let’s sit down. I’m sorry I haven’t got anything better than tires to sit on.” He brought Cas out in the sunlight and they sat down on a stack of tires each. Dean grabbed one slice and handed the other to Cas.

“This is really a surprise.” He said between mouthfuls. “A great surprise.”

Cas smiled, he looked at how Dean enjoyed the pie like it was sex. Cas and opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by the scrawny guy from the office.

“Dean, a Mr. Crowley called to confirm that his car could get picked up at five today.”

Dean sighed. “I’ll be done, yes.”

“Who is this? You should find chairs for customers.”

“He’s a friend, Garth. Say hello to Castiel. Castiel, this is Garth, my secretary and accountant.”

“Hello. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. How d’you know each other then?”

“We went to school together. I own the new nightclub.” Cas said and smiled at the guy that was practically beaming at him.

“Oh, that’s you. The place is so great. We needed that in this tired town.” Garth laughed.

“Well guys, enjoy your pie. Dean, remember Crowley. Five o’clock.” He punched Dean in the arm.

“Sure thing.” He smiled fondly before he contained himself and looked annoyed. Cas smiled, he had always known that Dean wanted to be seen as a bad boy, but the more he learned about the guy, the more he seemed like a sweet guy with a big heart. Gabriel couldn't know him all that well when he insisted he was some kind of casanova. 

“Castiel, what are you doing this Tuesday?”

“Um, nothing I guess. Why?”

“You like lasagna?”

“Sure.”

“My place then, sevenish, and homemade lasagna?”

Cas grinned back at him.

 

 **Dean**.

Dean didn’t know what made him invite Cas over. He wanted to spend more time with the guy, figure out his own feelings. They hadn’t really talked since their last date, and then he shows up at his work with coffee and frickin’ pie? He almost swooned seeing him standing there with the sunlight beaming behind him, Castiel had looked like a proper angel, with pie. And that even made his angel theory more plausible. He saw Castiel leave him just after they finished their coffees. They had laughed and talked like they knew each other well, and it felt right. Castiel was wearing his tight jeans and Dean found himself checking out his ass, again. It was really tight and he wanted to feel him against himself. Dean jumped when his phone signaled he had a text and he ran a hand over his face before walking back to the car.

_Jo: Have you decided about Taylor yet?_

He sighed. Taylor, Jo’s boyfriend needed a summer job, and wanted to work at his garage. Dean had already assumed the guy was bad news, but he wanted to be nice to Jo. She was still young and innocent. He decided to answer her later and went back to work on his car. His mind drifting to Castiel immediately. The guy was great looking, and he was really nice too. Dean hadn’t known him in high school even if they had a lot of classes together, and saw each other almost every day for thirteen years.

Dean had seen the guy and found him pleasant, but he never dared to look at him more than what was normal. When he heard he was gay he wasn’t surprised, but he felt bad that a few others started to give him a hard time. Dean didn’t dare to do much about it in case his friends would start asking too personal questions, but on several occasions he had managed to get them to forget about Castiel and stop their bullying. Then he had kissed him, his entire world had shifted because he realized he found guys as attractive as girls, but he wasn’t prepared to like it that much. Dean tried to stop his chain of thoughts as he finished up Mr. Crowleys car.  
While Castiel was there Dean had told him about Crowley that came with his car once a month to make sure everything was a okay. The man was nagging and needed reassuring that his car was in impeccable state. When Dean finally saw the black dressed, bearded man drive away he snapped a picture of himself making an eye roll and sent it over to Castiel saying he could get his first beer of the weekend.

All weekend was filled with texts back and forth. Dean got pictures of Cas playing with his nieces and some of Gabriel laying in the grass being peppered with water balloons, it seemed like they had a great time. Cas complained about Meg who stole his food or waltzed into his apartment at any time. Dean was at his parents for Sunday dinner where they ate chicken crock pot. They were all there, and Dean was much more engaged in the conversation than he used to. The minute he had entered the door Jo was over him to ask why he hadn’t made a decision yet and he sighed.

“Jo, I told you I don’t know how much he knows about cars.”

“He said he could come over to see you this week if you wanted to.”

Dean scratched the back of his head. Even if he didn’t like the man he sure made an effort it seemed.

“Fine. Send him over tomorrow and I’ll talk to him. I don’t promise anything, Jo! But I’ll see if we can make it work.”

“You’re the best!” She giggled and threw herself at him in a hug.

Sam laughed behind him and Dean rolled his eyes but put his arms around her in a hug. At the table Dean felt alive, like he used to be many years ago. Before Lisa when he had changed. In the kitchen later Mary smiled at Dean who sat down with a fork in the pie.

“ You’re in a good mood.”

“I am, yes.” He smiled and saw his mother smile like she was pleased.

“So what have you been up to lately? I don’t see you around as much.”

“I’m sorry, it have been a crazy week.”

“Yeah?”

“You know, work and stuff.”

She nodded and seemed like she wanted to say something but stopped herself. Dean asked her about next week when Sam had his birthday and she told him they planned to make cake next Friday.

“He wanted to do something with friends Saturday, so Friday is family birthday.”  
Dean knew that. Sam had talked about having his friends over at his and Jess’ apartment and maybe head out later.

For once it wasn’t so late when they finished off the family dinner. Dean went home and strapped on his running shoes and a pair of shorts. He plugged his headset into his ears and headed for a slow and nice run. He had been running a lot lately; he needed to get off some tension. Sure, he was in a good mood, he had a great time with Castiel, but he still freaked out because nobody knew! Nobody really knew that about him. When he came to a park he slowed down to a walk and was about to sit down when his phone rang. Charlie had seen him run by, so she demanded he came up to her place. Dean could use something to drink so he found his way up to her.

“Hey there. What is it with you and the running lately?”

“ What? Can’t a guy enjoy his runner’s high in peace?”

Charlie laughed as she sat down a glass of water in front of him. She sat down on the floor with her legs curled up under herself and started a game on her play station. For a long while all that was heard in the apartment was the sounds of her game of assassins creed something, and her cursing now and again when she missed. Dean sat back on her couch thinking about the last weeks.

“I’m in trouble, Charlie.”

“Yeah, more than I am?” She stared straight at the screen in front of her where she was overpowered by her opponents.

“I’m serious. I told you I met Castiel at Gabriel’s party, but that’s not all, he kissed me.”

Charlie immediately hit pause and turned to look at Dean with her eyes wide. Always so eager to know the latest gossip.

“He kissed you? What did you do?”

“I kissed him back! And last week we were on a date.” His shoulders hung down. Charlie’s face lit up as she realized what he told her, and she wanted to know every detail.

“And you didn’t even kiss him?”

“I couldn’t take the chance.”

“Right. You are stupid Dean.”

“Well, he came to the garage on Friday. With pie.”

Charlie gasped and jumped up on the couch beside him. “This is so great. Its like some kind of romance novel.”

“No it’s not. In this town, I'm known as the bad boy with a string of one night stands, all girls. No one knows, Charlie! Not even my family.” He swallowed and looked closely at her. She took a deep breath and put a hand on his knee.

“You have to calm down, Dean. A panic-attack is no good.”

“I know. But what do I do?”

“Well, the way I see it you have two options.”

“Which is?”

“One: You break up with Castiel, and get yourself a girl, live an almost happy life. Or two: You can keep dating him, figure out your feelings, and if it gets serious, you tell your family.”

Dean grunted and fell back on the pillows closing his eyes. Breaking off with Castiel, even the little thing that was going on was not an option.

“Suck it up, dude.” Charlie smirked.

“What if someone sees us and tells my family?”

“You should definitely tell your family before others start finding out.” She stated and Dean knew she was right.


	7. Someone special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean is getting closer. Sam and Dean have a talk.

**Cas**.

Cas felt like he was walking in the sky entire Friday. After his lunch with Dean he had gone home to his parents where Balthazar just arrived with his wife and two daughters. Two girls that was incredibly loud and annoying. Cas loved them. They were a lot like Gabe but he knew they got it from their father; Balthazar was just as amusing as his younger brother.

“Cassie! It’s been a while! Can’t believe you got back to this town and actually started up business here.”

Cas just laughed at that. Nobody believed him at first when he decided to move back, but it had turned out fine, at least it seemed like it was about to.

After getting back into old habits, like teasing each other for no reason, eating a lot of food and running around in the big garden behind the house like they still were kids, the girls fell asleep on the couch drained of energy. Hester opened a few bottles of wine which they shared out on the porch.

“You should go and see Cas’ club tomorrow night.” Gabe said to Balthazar and his wife.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Is it going well?”

“Yes, surprisingly well.”

“Why surprising?”

“Because that street already has one and a half club’s.”

Balthazar laughed at that. The half club Cas was referring to was a pub with mostly elderly men and cheap beer. It was and had always been creepy.

Cas and Dean exchanged a lot of text that night. Gabe got annoyed and Balthazar started teasing him about having a boyfriend. That got Gabriel’s attention.

“You got a boyfriend? How come you didn’t tell me?”

“Because I don’t.” Cas said even if he felt himself blush and Gabe caught that too.

“You do too! Come on, tell us, tell us! Do we know him or is it someone from your old life?”

“My old life?” Cas laughed but Gabe just hushed it away. He kept nagging, but Cas refused to say anything. He had been on one date with the man, and showed up one morning with coffee. Sure, they had a great time together, but they hadn’t talked about it themselves, and since Gabe knew Dean it was out of the question to tell them.

 

Even if they didn’t meet until Tuesday, they still talked almost every day. About little things, or bigger things. Cas decided to bring a bottle of wine when he went over for dinner at his place. Dean greeted him with a big smile.

“Glad you could make it.”

“Yes. You may want to put this in the fridge.” He said and handed over the wine. While Dean finished the food, Cas stood leaning against the bench, telling him about his day where he had been working and playing around with his nieces.

“They really got under your skin?”

Cas smiled. “They are annoying little devils, but they are also too charming for their own good.”  
Dean laughed at that.

It felt like last time. They talked easily, like they had known each other for years. Dean refused to let him help with the cleaning, so they walked into the living room, which had a view over a river. The plan was to watch a movie, but when it started they both kept talking to each other while it played in the background. Dean looked up at him and Cas got a feeling he wanted to say something but didn’t have the courage. He turned to the movie for a bit before he pulled one foot under himself on the couch and sat towards Cas.

“I… um… Castiel.” He sighed and looked like he was frustrated so he just gave up.

Cas felt the familiar tingling from hearing his name, his whole name like Dean said it almost tentative. He never actually grew into liking his name because it was so different. Uuttered by Dean it was difficult not to like it. Cas waited for him to continue but was instead surprised when Dean leaned forward, cupping his face with one hand and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. He smiled when he pulled back, still with the hand on his chin.

“I have wanted to do that since our date last week.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Dean huffed a nervous laugh and shrugged his shoulders.

“I wasn’t sure how to-“

Cas looked at his flustered face and leaned in to kiss him again. This time it got deeper and Dean pulled him closer. Cas let his tongue slide over his lower lip and Dean opened his mouth to let him in. They battled for domination, but Caswon and explored his mouth eager when Dean let out a soft moan. They made out until they were out of breath, but Cas continued down his jaw and neck. The soft skin on his neck and down to Dean’s collarbone was making him breath faster. He pushed Dean down onto the pillows and followed after, lying on top of him. Dean’s hands were suddenly everywhere. Running down his spine and under his shirt, finding their way up to his nipple, and Cas gasped in shock at the first touch. Dean chuckled against his mouth, and Cas felt himself go at it again even more insisting. He couldn’t miss Dean’s hardening cock against his thigh when they were close like that. Cas had to pull back for a moment to contain himself. This was going fast, and he didn’t even know what this was. Okay, now was not the time to start his soul searching, so he decided to enjoy it and see when Dean wanted to stop.

Cas had spent a lot of time dreaming about this. When he first really saw Dean they were at school, he was fooling around with his friends in gym class; Cas stood far away praying their teacher wouldn’t see him. Before class he watched Dean, a happy boy with a wide grin, a lot of laugh and a great body. They were about sixteen, and even if they had gone to the same school for years, and Cas knew his name, it wasn’t until that class he really started to see him. The class was coupled up to throw balls back and forth, and someone bumped into Cas so he fell over. Before he got to his feet, strong arms were there to help him up again. Dean looked at him with his green eyes and he looked concerned. All Cas could see was his beautiful freckles. Then they had kissed almost two years later, when Cas had spent time crushing on the guy ever since that gym class, so yeah, he was going to enjoy this.

Dean didn’t stop though. He kept kissing him, biting at his lip and making sinful noises from under him. Cas let his mouth wander down his neck again and let his teeth out and suddenly bit down, not hard, but enough to surprise him. Dean gasped and jerked his hips forward; thrusting his now rock hard cock right against Cas’ own erection. Dean lost it then, his breath going faster and harsher, his hands running over his body, demanding and eager, ripping his shirt off. Cas heard his own breath going just as fast as they kept grinding their hips together. He sat up to get to the button on Dean’s jeans, and looked down at him. His muscles made him look strong and manly, he had a hickey on his left collarbone and he looked like he already was blessed out. His hair was messy, his mouth open letting out a ragged breath and his eyes were closed as he enjoyed it in full.

When Cas put his hands on the button his eyes shut open. Cas didn’t stop but they kept staring at each other. That made Cas’ heart jump. Dean’s hands were now resting on his hips pressing down and when Cas let his hand slide over his hardness Dean arched his back and closed his eyes again with a deep groan that went straight to Cas’ cock. The straining in his own pants was getting painful and he hurriedly opened his own pants. He leaned forward to kiss Dean again as he took them both in his hand and started to stroke them. His heart was beating so hard in his chest it felt like he was going to pass out, but the feeling of them pressed together was something he couldn’t miss for the world.

“Oh… I… It’s so good… I’m gonna.” Dean gasped and Cas knew he was close, he could tell from his body language as well, his back arching, his fingers clenching and unclenching again and again in Cas’ hair and his breath out of control. Dean opened his eyes and stuttered ‘Castiel’ just as he came all over his hand and Cas was unable to hold it back with those beautiful eyes and his name on the other man’s lips.

 

 **Dean**.

Dean was in a great mood for the rest of the week. He had decided that instead of over analyzing what had happened that night he could just enjoy it, because it was what he wanted after all. He came into work early and had already got his workout done when Charlie stumbled in the door. Dean dried his haiafter his shower and grabbed his shirt.

“You’re up early… Dean! Is that a hickey?” She squeaked and ran over to him. Dean hurriedly pulled his shirt over his head, blushing, but Charlie was faster and inspected his collarbone.

“Wow, who did that to you?”

“Charlie, let go of me.” Dean pleaded in a soft voice.

“Of course, I don’t have to ask that, now that you are dating Castiel. So I guess it is going well then?” She smirked and giggled when he blushed even harder.

Dean shook his head and walked out on her.

For the next days he still talked a lot to Castiel, but they didn’t meet. Friday was Sam’s party, and everyone was looking forward to that. Dean was at home getting dressed; he was in a good mood. Castiel had showed up at lunch again, bringing smoothies this time. They chatted for a while until they said goodbye and Dean went back to work. He wanted nothing more than to invite him to the party, but he would see them when they got to his club later that night.

Sam had invited a few of his friends, there was Jess, Dean, Chuck and Lucifer. They started the drinking early and they got loud and happy quite fast. They played games and teased Sam until they got out. At the club they met up with a lot more of their friends and it only escalated from there.

Club W was already packed when they got there but Sam had reserved a table for them to have a place to sit. A waitress came over with drinks for all of them and Sam laughed happily. For a while they were all together, they talked by the table and danced, but soon they were spread out around the place. Someone was already sleeping at their table, others had run to the toilets, then there were those who had found someone they would go home with and everything was just like it used to.

Dean sat by their table with a bottle of water. He hadn’t been drinking that much; he had to make sure Sam got home safely. It was priority one. Dean had been looking for Castiel and he wasn’t disappointed. The black haired man was by the bar, not working tonight, but he was there. He drank from a beer and talked to the woman he had learned was his best friend Meg. Castiel would glance over at them from time to time and they would share a look before turning back.  
Dean laughed at how Sam and Jess danced together, like they were horny teenagers. When they finally came to sit by the table and talking about going home, Dean offered to drive them. Back at Sam’s apartment they almost fell out of the car and stumbled towards the door. Dean chuckled as he watched his little brother struggle with the door while Jess had her hands under his shirt distracting him.

 

The next weeks flew by fast. It got warmer by the day, and Dean had eventually agreed to give Taylor a few hours at his garage. He kept meeting Castiel and they had a great time talking, watching movies, being outside, laughing at stupid stuff or fooling around.

It was a day in the end of May and Dean had a few friends over at his place. They had been eating his homemade burgers and were now heading out to Castiel’s club. He and Sam walked down the stairs from the third floor of the house as they discussed a trip Sam was going on with Jess.

“And she wants us to bring the entire wardrobe.”

“Sure, she’s a chick; they only feel satisfied when they can complain about not having anything to wear from their closet full of clothes.”

Sam huffed a laugh and even if he agreed he almost seemed a little unsettled. That’s when his landlady opened her door.

“Hi, Dean, Sweetheart, are you going out?” There was no doubt what so ever that Dean was her favorite tenant, and why wouldn’t he be? He always helped her around the house, he made her dinner and he visited her so that she wouldn’t be lonely.

“Yes, miss Palmer.” He smiled at her.

“Is everything alright?”

“Everything is fine. I don’t mean to pry on you, but Kevin who lives beneath you said he didn’t appreciate the party you had on Thursday. I just have to bring the message; I know you didn’t do that on purpose, Dean.” She assured with a smile and Dean could feel his brother looking at him.

“That’s fine, Miss Palmer. I’ll try and keep it down.” He smiled at her and she wished them a great night. As long as Dean had lived there Miss Palmer had been friendlier towards his parties than his neighbor beneath him. Well, it wasn’t his fault the guy was a boring workaholic.

“Did you have a party on Thursday?” Sam asked as they walked out. “Why wasn’t I invited?”

“Hm? What, no!”

“So what’s she referring to then?”

“Um… Nothing.”

Sam stopped him then, and Dean knew enough about his brother’s stubbornness to sigh and take a deep breath.

“Okay then. It’s just someone I’ve been seeing, and things got a little out of hand that night.” Dean said blushing a little, but still holding his smirk.

Dean had met up with Castiel at his club. They hadn’t talked about it; he just went over there after work to talk. He had been drinking a little bit too fast on an empty stomach and Castiel decided to follow him home. Dean refused to go to bed so he poured a glass of whiskey to each of them, putting on some music and after that they both got a bit drunk and made a mess of the apartment. When they started to make out on the couch it had grown a lot more passionate than previous times, and before Dean knew it he was dragging Castiel into his bedroom undressing at the same time. Castiel had wanted to stop at first.

“Dean, we shouldn’t be drunk for this.”

“I’m not that drunk, Castiel. I want it. I want you.”

Castiel had seemed startled, like he had trouble containing himself as he lay on top of Dean. They hadn’t talked about this part, but somehow it was right, Dean wanted Castiel to be on top. He would never admit that, but he liked being taken care of. A few weeks earlier Dean had told Castiel that he had never been there with a guy, so that was why Castiel wanted to take it slow now. Dean assured him it was good and eventually he gave in; Dean needed to have a little buzz for this, he was nervous as hell and he didn’t want to ruin it by shaking like a nervous virgin.

They tumbled around on the bed getting undressed in a hurry and Dean opened his drawer to pull out lube and a condom. Castiel had been playing with him before, teased and sometimes worked in a finger while he sucked him off, but this time was more than that. Dean was placed on all four as Castiel kissed and bit his cheeks while a finger covered in lube teased at his entrance. Dean bucked against him, making sinful noises he didn’t even know he could do, and Castiel had been panting hard.

“I’ve been waiting so long for this. You are doing so good, Dean.” He slurred just a little bit and groaned as he let two fingers play with Dean’s nipple to distract him at the moment he pushed two fingers inside. It did burn, but it also felt divine. Dean had gasped and wanting more and Castiel gave it to him. When he finally pushed inside of him slowly inch by inch they both were so turned on it almost hurt. It didn’t last long, but Dean could barely hold himself up from the pleasure and Castiel was making soothing sounds as he pushed inside of him again and again. Hitting the right spot over and over until all Dean could do was chant his name and tense up as he came all over his sheets. Castiel made a few more thrusts and came inside of him, holding on tight to Dean’s hips. That was also the first night Castiel spent the entire night with him. Dean smiled at the memory.

Sam laughed at him, threw his entire body into the laugh and Dean was forced back to reality.

“Really? Do I know her? When can we finally meet? Or is it Pam?”

“It’s not Pam.”

“Then tell me!”

Dean cleared his voice. “Come on, man, let’s go to the club.”

“Dean, if you are dating someone, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Come on, Sam. I… Why do we have to do this now?”

“Because I want to know what’s going on in my brother’s life. You usually tell me when you met someone you like. You usually give me way too much information.”

“Yeah, well. I don’t this time.”

“So it’s someone real special then.” Sam stated and looked knowingly at his brother. They stared at each other until Dean broke the contact and started to walk after their friends. Sam had no problem catching up on his abnormally long legs.

“It’s someone you like very much, not just sex. Am I right?” Sam kept pushing as they walked down the street. Dean didn’t live that far away from the club; it was easy to walk there. He tried to hold it back, but Sam was really pushing it. He wanted to tell him because Castiel _was_ someone special and he didn’t want to hide it, but what choice did he have?

“You should bring her over on Sunday.”

“I can’t Sam. I just can’t.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Dad will kick me out.”

“Dad?”

Dean stopped in his tracks and took a deep breath. Sam looked genuinely concerned at his brother as he stopped in front of him.

“It’s not… Sam it’s not a girl.” Dean blurted out and watched his brother’s reaction closely. His face looked confused at first, like he didn’t understand, then his eyes widened as he stared at his brother.

“What? It’s a guy? Who?”

“Castiel.” Dean muttered but he still forced himself to hold his brother’s gaze. Sam was frozen for a few seconds until he broke into a smile.

“Dean why are you afraid of telling me?”

“Because no one really knows that about me.”

“Even if you never said, I certainly did think you might swing that way.” Sam didn’t look like he was surprised and he definitely was happy for him.

“So Castiel huh? Are you two together, or is it just… you know…” Sam cleared his voice and Dean had to laugh at him.

“Well, I think we are getting there.” And Dean told him they had gone out for a while.

“So what happened on Thursday that made Kevin throw a fit?”

Dean blushed and looked the other way. Sam laughed at him again.

“Right. I get it. It was _that_ kind of a party.” And damn if that didn’t make him blush even more.

“Sam… I want to tell our parents, but please let me do it in my own time.” He said seriously.

“I get it. And I’m sorry about dad.” They both knew how their dad could be, and he was just a little bit too conservative for today’s society.

“Yeah.”

“So, who’s on top?” Sam suddenly asked with a grin and Dean almost jumped out of his own skin.

“What!?” He almost yelled, surprised his brother would even ask that, but even more so he was pissed that he had to blush so ferociously. Sam pushed his shoulder.

“Come on, man. Tell me.”

“I’m not telling you. It’s private.” He said and he hoped real hard that Sam didn’t hear the shaking in his voice.

“Private? You have told me pretty much everything about the things you do with Pam. I mean, _way_ too much information regarding her. Deeean?” Sam said putting up his puppy eyes and Dean rolled his eyes in return.

“Well, maybe I don’t want you to know everything this time.”

“It’s simple, Dean. Who’s the pitcher and who’s the catcher.”

“I’m not discussing this with you.” Dean told him in a stern voice starting to walk faster. He heard his brother’s chuckle behind him.

“I bet it’s him. You would tell me proudly if you were on top.” Sam stated and Dean gave him a deadly glare that just made Sam laugh even more. Dean was happy his brother didn’t mind that he was with a guy, but this was taking it too far. And he didn't know why he felt so shy about it either. It wasn't like he had anything to be ashamed of either, other than the fact that his brother didn't need to know everything about him.

“Just stop it. You don’t know shit.” Dean shook his head.

“It’s fine, Dean. I was just curious.”

“I will kill you if you ever bring it up again!” Dean hissed at him and Sam nodded even if he worked hard to hold back his grin.


	8. Its a thin line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It starts out a bit smutty then Dean run into trouble and question what he is doing.

**Cas**.

Cas came home after spending the night with Dean. He felt like he was in heaven after finally going to bed with him and he wanted nothing more than stay with him the whole day, but they both had to go to work.  
They got a routine like before. Every Tuesday was date night, and every Friday Cas came over with lunch. Dean talked about his family and told him what they thought about people like them.

“I mean, Sam kind of caught me so I told him, and he is happy. He keeps nagging on me to tell my parents, but I just can’t!”

“Why is that?” Cas knew a lot of people didn’t like that someone was gay. He had been told that a lot, people yelling bad things after him, so he was very much aware of those mean things. He also felt a small sting of hurt that Dean didn’t seem to even consider telling his parents.

“Because my mother would be disappointed, because she sees her sons having exactly the kind of life she has. Sam is on his way there. I think he will propose to Jess in a matter of months. You know, that is what they want for us.”

“You can still have that, Dean.” Cas said in a low voice. He would never admit that he had started to dream about having a real life with Dean. He dreamt about buying a house and live together, maybe get a couple of kids. After just a few months he could see a life with him. It scared him, he never saw that with anyone else.

“According to my dad it’s just no way two guys should have a family like that. He thinks it’s wrong to bring up children without a mother.” Dean said quietly. Cas decided to let it go. It obviously hurt Dean to think about it, so he wouldn’t push him.

He wished he could forget it though. When he was alone a sneaking feeling crept inside and made him insecure. What if Dean suddenly ended what they had in order to meet a woman, live a life like he had with Lisa and Ben. Dean never suggested he would, he never seemed like he would do things just because his father had a different opinion and when they were together Cas felt like his thoughts was stupid.

As the summer approached Dean had shorter days at the gym and longer days in the garage. Taylor still worked with him and Cas found that he liked to watch them work. He sometimes brought a book up there and sat out in the sun reading while Dean worked. He got a few questioning looks from Bobby, the older man working with Dean and the kid, Taylor. Dean didn’t seem to mind at all, and they often drove home together after work.

One Saturday night while Cas was working in the bar Dean sat down in front of him. The music was loud and there was a lot of people in there dancing and having a good time. Dean had just gotten there after working late, he looked tired but he still smiled at Cas.

“Hey. You got any food upstairs?” Dean asked loud over the music.

“Sure. Why?”

“I’m starving. Mind if I go upstairs and grab something?”

“Not at all. You will probably find something in the fridge or you can look in the freezer.”

“Thanks, Cas.” He smiled and Cas noticed he had started to shorten his name like everyone else did.

“When do you think you can join me?” Dean looked mischievously at him and Cas felt a pang of want in the pit of his stomach. He felt his breath hitch and he actually blushed for being so easily turned on by this guy. Dean must have noticed because he lifted one eyebrow suggestively and chuckled under his breath.

“I.. Um…” Cas stammered and Dean laughed softly.

“See you soon, Cas.” He said and turned his back to him walking to the stairs in the back.

Cas had to take a deep breath. He had to stay downstairs at least half an hour, until someone could cover for him. While he worked he thought about the last weeks. He and Dean had really connected, both inside and outside the bed. Only their really close friends like Meg, Sam and Charlie knew about their relationship and Cas was starting to feel like he needed to tell someone. He was pretty sure a lot of their friends suspected something was going on, but nobody asked or commented on them.

Cas found Dean on a chair in the kitchen reading a magazine. He seemed like he felt at home and that made Cas feel warm inside. He walked over to him and settled between his thighs.

“Hey there.” He muttered and pressed his lips against the soft skin on his neck. He heard Dean let out a satisfied sigh and put his arms around him. Cas pulled back to look at him and Dean leaned in to kiss him. Cas felt him push his hands into his hair and smiled; Dean always pulled his hair.

Their slow kisses soon changed into more demanding ones and Cas pulled Dean’s shirt over his head and let his lips finds its way down his strong chest. Dean leaned back against the table and let out a long moan. Cas kissed a trail down his abs and the happy trail that lead down to his jeans low on his hips. He bit one nipple at the same time as he opened the button and Dean jerked forward with a surprised gasp.

“Fuck, Cas. A little warning!” He hissed but Cas just chuckled and dragged his jeans over his hips. He enjoyed the sight of his already hard cock and felt his own straining inside his pants. Cas sank down to his knees and licked over Dean’s dripping cock. Dean let out a groan and gripped the table tight to hold on. Cas loved doing this; Dean was so responsive. He gasped and writhed after just a few strokes and he soon started to beg for more.

“Damn, Cas… Come on… I want…” He let out a long moan as Cas pulled out and looked up at him.

“What do you want?”

Dean let his head fall back and took a deep breath as Cas let his warm and wet lips wrap around him again.

“I want… ah… You… I need you, Cas!” He gasped and that made Cas groan. He never could resist him and even less when he said he needed him.

“Come on. Let’s go into the bedroom.” Cas said and picked up his clothes as they walked into the next room. Dean laid down on the bed and spread his legs with a grin and Cas had to press a hand against his straining cock to release some of the pressure. He undressed fast and crawled into bed with his lover. Cas bent down to kiss him and Dean pulled him closer.

“Oh… You feel so good, Cas.” Dean whispered into his ear. The butterflies in his stomach started to flutter and Cas pulled back to look at Dean. His eyes were closed but he looked perfectly content between his pillows and Cas that had wanted to go fast and hard suddenly felt himself melt into this and he bent down to kiss his lips softly.

Cas let his lips cherish every inch of Dean and by the time he kissed his way up his thighs Dean was a whimpering mess. Cas smiled, he knew Dean would deny it if he mentioned it, but he loved when he gave himself completely over to his mercy. Cas let his tongue make a trail down his thigh and pulled his balls into his mouth one at a time. He then sank lower and let his tongue flutter over his pink hole. Dean arched his back and let out a surprised sound.

“Damn Cas!”

Cas just chuckled and let his tongue swipe over him again. Soon he was pressing harder against his rim and Dean let him inside. Dean writhed desperately below him and Cas found the lube before he pressed two fingers inside. The needy sounds Dean was making made him want to work faster, but he wanted to make this as great as possible.

“Cas… Now. I want you… now.” He panted fast and looked at him with his eyes blown with lust. He watched him as Cas pulled his fingers out of him and lifted them up to his lips. Cas let his tongue swirl over his fingers and sucked them into his mouth when he saw Dean staring with his mouth open.

“Gah… How… ah.. How do you do that?” He asked in awe.

Cas slicked up his aching cock and pushed against Dean’s entrance. He pushed all the way inside in one long thrust and both of them let out a moan. Cas started to move, he pushed inside him in a slow rhythm and watched as Dean arched his back and followed the rhythm with his entire body.

Dean opened his eyes and looked directly at him and they both knew they were close. Cas picked up the pace a little bit and they kept looking at each other getting closer and closer to the edge. Dean held tight around his arms and let out a long strangled sound as he came without even being touched. By looking at Dean giving himself over to the pleasure Cas couldn’t stop his own release as he came deep inside him.

Cas got up to find a towel to dry off their mess and as he dried Dean’s come from his stomach he leaned in to kiss him. Dean let his finger run through his hair.

“I love… this.” He whispered and kissed him.

In the kitchen a few minutes later Cas rested his hands against the bench. Was he mistaken or had Dean been about to say he loved him? It was stupid to think so, but he had looked like he almost did. Cas swallowed hard. As he grabbed two bottles of water he didn’t notice the door opening behind him. He turned off the lights and walked in his bathrobe back to his bedroom.

He stopped abruptly as he noticed Meg in the doorway. She stood leaning against the doorframe.

“What the hell?” Cas hissed at her and noted thankfully that Dean at least had pulled the covers over his butt. One foot was over at his side of the bed and one arm dangled towards the floor. Cas smiled fondly before turning angry at Meg.

“How could I know you two had your own party in here?”

“You should ask before bursting in here!” He told her and thought about what she might have walked in on if she was just a few minutes earlier.

“Don’t be such a prude. I’m happy you two are having a good time. And I have to say, Cas. You are one lucky sucker! Look at his back and seriously strong thighs. I could just burst into flames.” She teased and Cas forced her to turn around.

“Go home, Meg.”

“That’s rude, Cas. You could at least offer me the guest room.”

Cas started at her and shook his head.

“Take the guestroom. Don’t blame me if you hear stuff you’d rather be without.” He smirked at her before he closed the door of his bedroom. He didn’t mind Meg being there, but he minded when she came too close to Dean.

 

 **Dean**.

Dean woke slowly and smiled when he recognized Cas’ bedroom. The door into the bathroom was open and he heard the shower running. He stretched out on the bed and felt his body was perfectly sore. Sunday morning and he had a whole day off. He sat up when his phone rang and he rummaged through the mess of clothes on the floor until he found it. At the same time Cas walked into the room with hair dripping and just a towel around his hips. Dean swallowed hard.

“You got a call?” Cas asked with humor in his eyes and Dean was ripped back to reality and realized he had already picked up the phone.

“Yeah. Hello?” He breathed into the phone as he followed Cas with his eyes.

“Dean? It’s your mother. Are you busy?”

“What, no? I’m… Sorry. Is something up?” He asked into the phone.

“Everything is fine. Could you pick up some carrots and sugar when you get here? I totally forgot yesterday when I was at the store.”

“Yeah, no problem.” He looked over at Cas. “What time is it?” He whispered.

“It’s twelve thirty.” Cas answered with a apologizing smile.

“Okay. Thank you. Have you heard from Sam?”

Dean lay back on the pillow. Sam and Jess had been away for almost two weeks and finally got back last night. He talked to him on the phone and he told his mother they would be coming to dinner.

“Are you bringing someone, Dean?” His mother asked innocently. She had been on his back for weeks and he knew she suspected he had something going on but didn’t want to ask him directly.

“No, mom. Sorry.” He told her and glanced over at Cas. He wished he could bring him over but a part of him still wasn’t ready.

“Fine. I’ll see you later, honey.” She told him and hung up. Dean rested one hand over his forehead. It had been a great morning. They woke up and like last night they made love slow and perfect. Dean could barely breath through all the love. He had almost ruined it all last night by telling the man he loved him. He couldn’t risk scaring him. What they had really meant something to him, and he was certain if he said something too soon it would ruin everything.

Sunday dinner was had with only Mary, John, Sam, Jess and Dean. They ate while talking about the trip Sam and Jess had been on. When dessert was served Sam cleared his voice and said he wanted to tell them something. He smiled and practically beamed at his girlfriend.

“Jess and I… We’re engaged.” He said and held up Jess’ hand which had a small ring with a diamond. Their parents rushed to congratulate them and Dean hugged his brother tight. He knew he was going to ask her since he had helped him pick out the ring, but he was still proud of him. Dean hugged Jess and told her he couldn’t wait to welcome her into the family for real.

The rest of the night they talked about the proposal and Mary was ecstatic about the whole thing and John looked like he had gotten his biggest wish granted. Dean was happy for his brother; he still wished he could share this with the person that had been so important to him the last couple of months. The thought of bringing him home, be proud of telling his family about it was weighing on him because he knew they wouldn’t be as happy as they were for Sam and Jess.

 

Later that week Dean was at the lake swimming with some of his friends. The sun was shining and the heat was almost too much. Dean had felt tense ever since Sunday but he told himself he needed to let it go. Benny, Lucifer and Garth were splashing around the water with him. They threw a ball between them and tried to push each other under water every chance they got. It was still hot when they collapsed on their towels laughing. Benny pulled out beers and they clinked them together. When they walked up to their cars a tall guy walked up to them.

“Careful with Dean here, he’s started playing for the other team, guys.” He told them with a slow and dragging voice. Dean felt himself go pale as he sent a glance from Alastair to his friends. They looked genuinely confused.

“You don’t know?” Alastair asked and laughed like he couldn’t believe his luck.

“Just back off!” Benny told him. They all knew that Alastair only was out to get trouble. It was never a good idea even talking to him.

“Really? Protecting the faggot amongst you?” Alastair came closer.

“We don’t have time for this.” Garth said and started walking. Dean thought he probably knew what Alastair was talking about but he was just to loyal to say anything in front of the guy. The rest of them turned to follow Garth when Alastair spoke again.

“Don’t mind me. I’m not the one doing the dirty with that no good fag owning Club W.”

Dean could handle Alastair. He had for years. The guy loved to pick a fight and Dean had learned that ignoring him was the only thing that made it go away. Alastair always called him all kinds of stuff, but hearing him calling Cas those things made him see red and he spun around sending his fist straight to Alastair’s long chin. The tall guy grunted but he just stumbled a few steps back.

“Getting offensive when someone talks about your boyfriend?” He chuckled. Dean bit his teeth together and leaped forward again hitting him in the shoulder. This time the guy fell to the ground. He growled furiously and scrambled to his feet as he reached out to Dean hitting him back and Dean felt the pain settle in his head. He grunted in pain and felt blood run down from his nose. Alastair was taller than him and had the upper hand. When he came at him again Dean got away and even if his sight was blurry from the beat he managed to stop Alastair a little before they both tumbled to the ground.

That’s when he heard his friends yell at them and the two men in uniforms running at them. He felt his body go limp. No matter how much his friends told the officers that Dean had acted in self defense and Alastair pleaded his innocence they were both taken away. Dean could feel how his friends stared after them and he really wished they didn’t have to figures it out like this.  
Alastair and him was put into separate cells at the station and Dean felt really stupid sitting there. He was a grown up, not some kind of hormonal teenager. He had reacted like one so he would just have to take the consequences of his rushed actions.

Dean was out of there just a few hours later. Alastair wouldn’t press charges; even if he could get away with it, it wasn’t worth it even for him. Sam came to pick him up and tried to cheer up his sulking brother. Dean got home and into the shower to wash off the blood and loosen up his muscles. The hours in that cell had given him time to think. He wasn’t sure it was worth it anymore. Cas would probably get picked on because he was with a worthless mechanic like him, and Dean would lose the majority of his family. For all he knew, maybe even most of his friends as well. By the time he got out he had decided to slow down on their relationship to see if there would be a difference. Maybe that would give Cas a chance to find something better suited for him.


	9. Changing the game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Dean pulls away Cas forces his way back into his life. Dean finally decides to have a talk with his parents.

Cas.

Cas stared at his phone. It had been a few days since he talked to Dean and the last talk had given him a bad feeling. Dean had told him he got into a fight but that he was fine. Cas had found out from Charlie at the gym that there was a guy that started to talk about Cas and their relationship and he understood that Dean probably was hurt from that. After all; Dean was really protective of the ones close to him.

That weekend a few guys Cas recognized as Dean’s friends came into his club and he wasn’t with them. That also made his alarm bells ring a bit louder. Dean was always there on the weekends with his friends. The small one from the garage smiled bright at him. 

“Hey there. Got a few beers?” He asked and seemed as happy as ever.   
Cas brought it out for him and saw him walk over to his friends. He tried not to focus on that. Maybe Dean was busy with something else, but he always called and that bothered him. 

When the week started Cas tried to call him but was sent to voicemail. It was hard not to take it personally as time went by and he knew his mood was foul. He decided that he would give Dean until Wednesday before he went over to his place. 

That’s why he stood outside his door slamming his fist into it in frustration. 

“You mind keeping it down?” A voice came from downstairs and Cas rolled his eyes. Of course the boring neighbor was able to hear this but not Dean. 

“Is Dean at home?” He asked the guy.

“I don’t know.”

“Then what do you know?” Cas sneered at him.

“Uh… Sorry. I haven’t seen him today. His car is outside, though, so I think he is in there.” There was a long pause.

“You guys have a fight or something?” Suddenly his voice was a bit friendlier. 

“I... um… Suppose. We’re not really speaking at the time.” Cas sank down with his back against the wall and found himself comforted by the concern in the voice of the guy he couldn’t even see.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He told him. Cas nodded. 

“I know. Sorry about keeping you awake.” Cas didn’t know what else he could say.

“Don’t mention it. I have periods with a lot of exams, that’s when I ask him to keep it down. Most of the time I’m just glad he has someone at least.” Cas noticed the sad sound of his voice.

“You should join us some time when we go out.” Cas offered.

“Naa. I know what Dean thinks of me. I’m just a boring workaholic.” 

“He just doesn’t know you. I’ll come by the next time we go out if he ever opens his door for me again.” Cas finished. 

He heard the guy wish him good luck before closing his door. Cas sat there for a while. He wondered if something had happened.

“Dean, open up or I’ll get Miss Palmer to bring up the key.” He shouted at the door. Finally there was a shuffling from inside and the door squeaked open. 

“Come on, man. What’s going on?” Cas got up and stared at him. His left eye was blue and he was still a bit swollen on the lip. “You look like hell.” 

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Cas stared at him through the small gap in the door. The cold feeling from earlier spread out in his body and he took a deep breath.

“Why? Don’t I deserve to know?”

A pained expression showed in Dean’s face for a second before it was gone.

“There’s nothing to know.”

“Yeah? I have to hear from Charlie that someone beat you up because of me, and I don’t need to know? You want to break up, Dean?” He asked him and hoped the desperation didn’t sound as obvious to Dean as it did to himself.

Dean watched him for a while before he opened the door to let him in. Cas took a few tentative steps in his direction, but Dean turned around and walked into his living room and Cas struggled to fight the rejection.

“Cas I… That guy said stuff about you so I hit him. That’s about it. My friends stood there watching and I haven’t spoken to a lot of them since.”

“I’m sorry, Dean.”

Dean let a hand run over his face and he looked so tired.

“I knew I wasn’t ready for this and you deserve someone that isn’t just a guy in a garage.” He looked down like he couldn’t meet Cas’ eyes.

“What are you talking about?”

“You deserve someone that is confident enough to stand up to his family and friends, someone smarter than me. I can’t do this!” He raised his voice and looked desperately at him. Cas realized that most of all Dean was afraid. He just needed to know what he feared the most; telling his family or being in love. 

 

Dean.

Dean stared at the man he had these strong feelings about stand in the middle of his living room looking miserable.

After the fight Dean had barely dared to go outside. He went to work at the garage where he met Garth. The jovial guy just patted his shoulder telling him he shouldn’t be scared, his friends were totally understanding the situation. Dean hadn’t taken the chance of asking any of them, but Garth acted just like normal, and he also got messages from Benny asking why he didn’t get his ass to the gym. 

He felt bad that he hadn’t told them, and in the process he tried to pull away from Cas which only made him feel worse than he had his entire life. He felt like he was physically ill. His mother was worried sick after she heard about the fight and the fact that he was arrested but Dean refused to tell her anything and Sam didn’t say a word. 

Now Cas was looking at him with anger in his beautiful blue eyes and Dean could barely hold it together.

“Don’t I get a say in this, Dean? You tell me what I deserve, but you never asked what I want.” Cas’ voice was thick like he was about to cry and Dean swallowed hard. He was not about to cry, and he definitely didn’t bite his lip to keep it from shaking.

“I know you deserve better than me, Cas. You always see the good in people, you help them and you work hard for everything you got. I heard you talking to Kevin outside, I never bothered to get to know him, and you know that and you still defended me without making him feel bad. That’s what you do, and I’m the kind of guy that gives him a mean nickname even if he never did anything.” Dean took a deep breath. He hadn’t meant to say all that, but it just rushed out of him. Cas smiled and came a little bit closer. 

“Dean. That doesn’t mean you’re not a nice guy. Miss Palmer adores you. And I love you.” He said and Dean froze mid-step.

“You what?”

“I love you, Dean.” Cas smiled brighter and Dean swallowed.

“I… Cas… I don’t know what to say.” Dean breathed out at last.

“You should let me know if you still want us to be together or if I should go.” Cas whispered.

Dean brought his arms around him in a hug.

“Don’t go.”

 

Dean tried to make it up to Cas and told him he had had time to think about it and he wanted to tell his parents. He had debated whether to bring Cas for it or not, but he was just too uncertain what his father might say. If it went wrong he didn’t want Cas being there listening to it. Dean took a deep breath as he stood outside his parent’s house. It was the middle of the week so he knew they probably had just finished dinner.

“Dean! It’s good to finally see you again.” His mother smiled at him and came forward to examine his injuries. 

John sat in the living room watching tv. Mary had her apron still on. 

“What brings you over?”

This was it. How stupid was this? He was their oldest, grown up son and he still felt like he was sixteen having to come clean to his parents.

“Okay I have to talk to you.” He told them, and his mother instantly sat down on the coach and John turned off the tv. He loved his parents for being like this. They always got out of their way to show their sons they were more important than anything else. Dean was just afraid this was the last time his parents would do that for him. 

“Is everything alright, Dean? Does this have something to do with that fight you got into” His mother’s voice was soft and Dean really felt like he was back in high school. He let a hand run over his face and he demanded his heard to slow the fuck down!

“Well… Yeah.”

“Do you need anything? Money?” John sat up right. 

“No! Come on, Dad!” Dean said annoyed. Why would he need that? John just raised his hands to show him he didn’t mean anything by it. 

“Anyway that guy was an idiot and I shouldn’t have reacted that much I know that.” 

“Then why did you, honey?” Mary’s voice was as concerned as ever and Dean knew he had to just go for it he couldn’t hold it in anymore. 

“You’ve been asking me to bring someone over for Sunday dinner, and I want to.” Dean started and saw how both his parents lit up and looked expectantly at him. 

“You’ve finally met a decent girl to bring home?” His father teased and Dean swallowed. 

“Yes. But… Well here we go. I really want to bring him over, but I don’t know because he’s… you know; a guy.” He blurted out and both his parents just stared at him. 

“What do you mean a guy?” John said in a low voice and really slow like he needed to make sure Dean understood what he said. 

“It’s a man, dad. My boyfriend or whatever.” Dean said and he could tell his parents still needed time to grasp the idea. 

“You need anything? Glass of water, whiskey?” He asked them and didn’t wait for an answer before he grabbed the bottle of whiskey and poured into a glass for himself, that he swallowed down at once. He brought it back to his parents and saw his mother cling to the glass and his father empty it immediately. 

Mary raised her eyes and watched him closely.

“Are you happy, Dean?”

“I am, mum. I’m better than I have been in a long time. You told me so yourself.” And she had. A few weeks back she had asked him what was going on in his life since he was so happy. 

Mary nodded. “Then I’m happy, Dean. You shouldn’t be afraid to tell us.” She smiled tentatively. 

“Are you going to tell us who he is?” She said after a pause and John’s eyes snapped from where he had glued them to the table and up to Dean.

“It’s Castiel Novak.” He told them and he saw his parents both recognized that name. 

“Son. Why are you telling us this?” John finally stood up. Dean had been waiting for him to say something.

“Because I want you to get to know him.” Dean said.

“Sometimes guys have to try out stuff to get it out of their system, that doesn’t mean they introduce them to the family!” John told him in a stern voice.

“Cas isn’t someone I just have to get out of my system, dad.”

“The hell he is! Why are you all of a sudden telling us you are gay when you only ever have been with women over the years? What about Lisa?” John had gotten up from the couch.

“I broke up with Lisa over a guy, dad!” Dean yelled back at him and his dad shook his head.

“You mean to tell me you messed up with a perfectly good woman over a dude? Son you need to think through your actions.” 

Dean let a hand run through his hair and huffed a frustrated breath. He hadn’t meant to let his parents know this part. They didn’t need to know. 

“Yeah, well. That is between me and Lisa.”

“Even Pam is better than this, Dean. You are a grown up man. You can’t just change your… game all of a sudden.” John lifted his arms in frustration. Dean felt like he was smacked over his face. His father had always criticized his relationship with Pam. He couldn’t stand that his son was hanging out with that woman that from John’s perspective spread her lags for a good word. Dean had several fights with his dad about that through the years. And now even she was better. He felt himself take a step back. Mary showed how much she hated it when they were fighting but Dean couldn’t stop this. His parents needed to know. 

“Dad, mum. It’s not all of a sudden. I was eighteen the first time I kissed a guy, which actually was Castiel. It’s not something I’m trying out for the hell of it. I want it.”

“Eighteen, Dean?” His mother whispered. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Dean looked from her to his dad and then back with a frustrated look. 

“Can you blame me?” He said and his voice was broken. Mary closed her eyes and let her head fall down. John was standing behind his wife breathing fast. Dean turned around and walked to the door. He turned to look at his parents. 

“Don’t count me in on Sunday.” He said and hated the hurt in his mother’s eyes, but he couldn’t be there when his father looked at him like he was a stranger. 

Dean got to the car before a single tear forced its way down his face.


	10. I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean meet Cas' family, while Cas still want's to meet Dean's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is so short, and I bet it's also lacking a bit. I was hit with writers block and was totally uninspired; probably because I'm working on several stories at once. I hope the next chapter will get better and either the next or the one after that will be the end of this story.

Cas.

Cas noticed that Dean felt a bit lighter after he had talked to his parents. Of course he was sad that they didn’t accept it, but still it was easier when they didn’t have to hide anymore. Family was important to Dean and to have them not supporting him was hard. Cas found him in the kitchen the day he had talked to his parents. Dean was making pies. There was a mess in the kitchen with flour and different types of jam and berries for filling. His jaw was tight and Cas suspected he was at the brink of tears. Or throwing punches.

Dean had been demanding and soon he stood bent over the kitchen table with Cas deep inside him. It was fast en dirty and they were both covered in sweat and dust from the flour. Cas pulled him close after and pretended he didn’t see the tears Dean tried to hide. 

“What are you going to do on Sunday?” 

“Probably go work out or find out what Charlie’s up to.” Dean told him where they sat opposite each other at a local coffee shop. 

“Do you want to come with me to my parents?” Cas said and watched Dean lift his head to look at him. For while none of them said anything before Dean’s face lit up in a smile. 

“I can do that.” He told him and grabbed his hand on the table. Which was another thing Dean had started to do. He wasn’t longer afraid that people saw them together in public and it warmed Cas. The touches wasn’t much, Dean wasn’t that kind of guy, but the small touches was enough.

Sunday afternoon they both got out of Dean’s car outside the big house where Castiel’s parents lived. Cas had told them just after Dean had.

“Are you sure, honey? I mean, he hasn’t been acting like he would be with another man.” His mother asked looking confused.

“Yes, I am sure.” Cas told them, not caring to deliberate what was Dean’s private life. 

“Well, if that’s so I think you should bring him over.” Hester smiled and Chuck nodded in agreement. 

“I would like that.” Cas said and promised them he would talk to Dean about it. 

His parents welcomed Dean and they seemed like they were getting along well. Gabriel was having some trouble accepting that his friend wasn’t just into guys, but he actually seemed to settle down as well.   
That was maybe taking it a bit too far, Dean and Cas had never talked about what the future held for them. Cas sometimes felt like Dean thought this would end pretty soon; other days he acted like he wanted to spent all his time with him. 

At least Gabriel and Dean knew each other prior to this, so they managed to talk to each other about what had happened since last they saw each other, and eventually Gabriel seemed to get along with it. 

Monday Cas got a call from his mother who wanted to tell him that they had really enjoyed the dinner with Dean last night. 

“He really is charming, Cas.” She praised and Cas smiled. 

“Yes, yes he is.” He told her. 

“We’re so glad you have finally found someone that is making you happy.” Hester said softly and Cas knew his parents had worried about him since the day they knew he was gay. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but he thought it might have something to do with this town’s way of seeing people like him. 

“Well, I’m just glad you accept him. His family isn’t that pleased about the idea, so we might be over there again on Sunday.” Cas told her. Hester sighed. 

“I’m sorry to hear that, honey. I’m sure they don’t mean anything by it, just give it some time.” 

“I will.” Cas told her and admitted to himself that he hadn’t actually thought about it that way. He only saw the toll it took on Dean to not be able to visit his family any time he wanted. He hadn’t put much thought into the fact that he was a part of the problem. Cas was the one Dean was with, and he was the one that Dean’s parents didn’t accept. Dean had made it clear that he wouldn’t let his parent’s opinion affect what they had together. 

Cas decided to visit the shop where Dean’s mother worked. From what Dean told him his mother was not actually against it, she didn’t have the power to convince his father. 

 

Dean.

Dean ran up the stairs to Cas’ apartment. He opened the door, passed Meg on the couch and got into the kitchen where Cas stood stirring in a pot with something that smelled absolutely amazing. 

“Man. I love you!” He uttered and put his hands around Cas’ waist. Cas turned around in his grip with surprise in his eyes. 

“Dean. What…”

“I know what you did. And I realized that… well you are just great.” He said suddenly feeling ashamed of his display of feelings. “You should have talked to me first, but I’m still glad you didn’t. “ He continued before he leaned in to kiss him. 

“Guys, you’re not alone in here.” A voice said from behind them. Dean turned to see Meg standing leaning against the doorway in her usual way looking both curious and amused. 

“You two are all kinds of cute.” She said before turning around to walk back into the living room. Dean felt that Cas was watching him closely and he suddenly got uneasy. 

He had talked to his mother earlier that day and she told him that Cas had come by at her work and that they had ended up talking for a while. Not about them or how they reacted when Dean told them. Cas had simply gone over to introduce himself and started talking. Sam had been asking Dean for weeks to try and talk to their parents again, but Dean had insisted that if they wanted to talk to him again, they should get in contact. Sam could tell him that Mary was very quiet during their Sunday dinners, and that she seemed tense around their father. Dean didn’t like that. He didn’t like that he was part of the reason his parents didn’t get along, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do that. When he needed it, they hadn’t stood up to him. Even if his mother had seemed happy at first, but John was just too strong. 

“Dean…” Cas started. “I… do you really, you know… love me?” He asked and for a moment Dean wanted to freak out and deny that he said that to him. It just blurted out like it almost did last time. But Dean had gotten time to think about it, and it might be soon and a bit crazy, but he had never felt like this about anyone before. No matter how cliché it sounded, he was actually surprised how fast he had grown into trusting, and caring for Cas.

“Yeah, I do.” He whispered and pulled him in close. Their lips met and it felt like they both wanted to say a lot more with that kiss than they could manage in words. When Cas let his mouth wander down his jaw Dean let out a sigh and Cas chuckled and pushed him against the kitchen table grinding their hips together. Dean let out a moan and let his head fall back. 

“Guys! REALLY? I’m still here. At least give me a heads up so I can flee the place!” Meg complained from the living room. Dean laughed when he heard the door slam shut. 

“Sorry, got carried away.” Cas muttered against his neck ghosting kisses up his jaw line.


	11. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean get invitations

Cas and Dean.

 

It had been almost five months since Dean had been home with all his family. He went by once in a while chatting with his mother, but he still struggled with his father around. John was stubborn and wasn’t able to tell his son he was sorry about being so hard on him. Dean also refused to reach out a hand, because his father had gone a step too far.   
Three months after Dean’s outing they moved in together. They stayed in the place over the club and was often the base of fun after parties for their friends. Dean was surprised at first at how great his friends was about the whole thing, but he eventually just decided to enjoy it and be glad. 

Cas had really found a new friend in Kevin, and invited him over as often as he got the chance. Dean used to tease him about that, but in reality he thought it was great. Cas probably did it because he himself had been a bit lonely and he knew how that felt like. Kevin turned out to be a very smart guy with a dry sense of humor. 

One night Cas came up from the club Dean sat in front of the tv. 

“We got an invitation.” He told Cas. On the kitchen table was a pretty envelope with their names written perfectly. Cas smiled and picked it up at he walked into the living room. 

“So they have finally set the date.” Cas chuckled. Sam and Jess had been engaged for a while and all of their friends just waited for them to get married. Dean used to tell them that they should hurry up because everyone knew that Sam wanted to start having kids but Jess refused to wear a wedding dress looking fat. 

Cas knew that it still hurt Dean that they couldn’t go and meet his family but they didn’t talk about it so much anymore. It seemed like Dean had decided he could live with it. From time to time Dean and Cas met at a café with Mary, so Cas had gotten to meet her, and she always apologized that John didn’t want to give in. 

“Yes. April 20th. “ 

“It’s smart to wait until it gets a little warmer in the weather.” 

Dean smiled at him and gave him a peck on the cheek. Cas pulled his feet up under himself and looked at Dean. 

“Did you ever think about getting married?” He asked and Dean turned to look at him. 

“You asking?” Dean smirked at him.

Cas felt his heart jump for a moment, but he decided to not think too much into it. Sure he wanted to know what Dean thought about it; that’s kind of why he was asking in the first place. But he couldn’t make this into that kind of conversation.

“I’m asking in general, Dean.”

Dean seemed to think about that for a while and Cas sat there waiting, not knowing that Dean was terrified to answer. He had been thinking about it actually, and the thought had come to him more lately than it used to. 

“I used to think I might one day, you know. When I was with Lisa I enjoyed it, being with the kid, having grown up responsibilities.” He rolled his eyes. “It probably sounds stupid, but I’m not much more adventures than that.”He told him

Cas seemed to have trouble giving a response to that. He took a deep breath and looked vulnerable. 

“So you stopped wanting it after Lisa?” Cas said. 

“No, I’m trying to say that with them I found out that it was something that I actually want from my life.” Dean looked sincere. “So what about you?”

“Me?” 

“Yes, what are your thoughts on marriage?” Dean nudged his shoulder playfully. 

Cas shook his head a little. Usually he was the one that talked about his hopes and dreams, but suddenly he was nervous. Why was that, he lived with the man! 

“I… uh… Sure. I never saw myself getting married, but then again, I never thought I would find someone to share that with.” He said and when Dean turned to look at him his blood rushed in his head and he was afraid he had said too much. 

It wasn’t like he actually asked him about anything, right? 

“And have you?” Dean said with his eyes wide and a slight blush in his cheeks. 

“I think I have yeah.” Cas breathed. Dean leaned in with a smile kissing him light on his lips.

* * *

The weather was perfect for a wedding. They were outside by the river and the day was not too hot, but still sunny and bright. Sam had chosen Dean to be his best man and Cas had trouble looking at the bride and groom with his gorgeous man standing up there as well. 

Afterwards they were having their guests home to Sam’s parents since their garden was the biggest. Cas found himself shaking hands with a lot of people, thankful that Dean never left his side. He was there from they got out of the car and the first aunt approached them. 

“Is your mother telling the truth, Dean, are you living with a man?”

Dean confirmed and introduced Cas to her. It turned out that she was mostly curious and not condescending at all. She even dragged them over to her husband and told him to say hi. Dean’s family wasn’t all very happy on their behalf, but most of them had had time to wrap their minds around the idea. 

It was late when the party started to break up. Dean had been drinking fast in the beginning, but Cas had asked him to slow down, and Dean realized that even if it was easier it wasn’t the smartest to get too much to drink before meeting his parents. 

Dean had threatened to leave, but Mary had begged him to stay so he just couldn’t say no. Before they knew it they were standing in front of Dean’s parents. Mary smiled at them, and John looked like a dog that had bit a hole in the new couch. 

“Well dad, meet Castiel.” Dean eventually said and saw them exchange handshakes. John grunted a hello while Cas was polite as ever, telling him it was nice to finally meet him. 

“Cas has been very helpful with the decorations at the church.” Mary said and John nodded.

“I bet he has.” 

Dean bit his teeth together at the implication and stared directly at his father.

“You have had almost a year to think about this, to get used to the thought that it’s not some weird idea I’ve got. I’m staying with Cas. Mum probably told you, but two months ago we moved in together. We would have loved to invite you over, but because of you, dad, Sam was the only one from my family there. The rest of them was all Cas’ family. So I had to make up a lie so that I wouldn’t have to tell them my father didn’t agree with my choices.” Dean threw at him and John actually looked ashamed. 

They stared at each other for a while. 

“Son, I know I have acted wrong. Mary has told me that you two are real happy together, and I have tried to make myself call you. It’s new to me.”

“You aren’t alone about that!” Dean said louder than he meant. 

“I know and I’m sorry.” 

Dean looked over at Cas. “We should go.” He said. 

Dean and Cas gave Mary a hug and Dean saw Cas shake hands with John again but he walked towards the door without saying goodbye to him. 

“Dean.” His father’s voice was careful and soft. Unlike what it usually sounded like so Dean stopped and turned to meet his eyes. 

“Sam and Jess will probably be here next Sunday. We would appreciate it if you two would like to come by as well.” John met his eyes and smiled tentatively. Dean knew he still wasn’t very happy about their relationship, but the fact that his father was willing to get to know them together was good news. 

“We’d like to come, but we often go over to Cas’ parents on Sundays.” Dean said in a stern voice. He didn’t know why he said it, and he saw his father flinch a little at that. 

“I’m sure we can come over, my parents will understand.” Cas interrupted and grabbed Dean’s arm. 

“I’m sorry, but I think it’s time we got home. Thank you for the invitation and congratulations again for Sam and Jess.” Cas said while he put a steadying arm around his waist to follow him outside. 

“Cas, I can walk by myself.” Dean told him. 

“Sure, but I like holding you.” 

Dean just huffed and leaned more of his weight against Cas. 

“Did my father actually ask us to come to dinner on Sunday?” Dean said on the way home. 

“Yes he did. I think that is great progression.” 

Dean looked out of the window. He thought so too. There might still be a lot of unresolved issues between them, but they had so start somewhere, right? 

Sunday dinner at his childhood home sounded good. He had missed his mothers chicken and pie for dessert. It wasn’t the same without Bobby growling about having to eat vegetables and Jo sitting there teasing him about anything. His father used to yell at the tv when there was a game on while he and Sam made fun of him. Dean missed his home, and he wanted more than anything to introduce Cas to that. He wanted to show Cas why he wanted a family of his own one day; because there was so much silly love at his home. The most important word in Dean’s vocabulary was something he had been without for a while and now that he got a chance at getting it back he felt warm with relief. The one thing he really wanted to make with Cas was this; a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last part of this story. I hope i managed to wrap it up somehow, and that it's something in here that you liked. 
> 
> xx - Till next time


End file.
